barefoot

weird dream last night- I was getting married, and it was the whole morning of getting ready, but I was mostly alone, because everyone else was getting stuff ready in the back yard. I hadn’t planned my dress or shoes or anything, and didn’t care when we (my aunt helped me out suddenly) decided on the one white dress in the house which I don’t particularly like. Then, I decided not to bother with shoes, since we were in the back yard anyway.

I kept getting so scared and full of doubts and trying to battle them back with the thought of "Well, its too late to change my mind, I’m only scared because of the stress of the big day".  My mom asked a couple of times if I was sure.  I wasn’t, but stuck to the idea that it was too late and I was just stressed out.

When I thought about it, I realised that I really wanted to just see Bear, and i’d feel all right.  But I woke up before it was time to walk outside.