The Fat Lady has sang

It’s over. Done. No more. Candice had the baby today, at 4:01 PM, Brian was there for the whole thing. It’s over. We are done. No more Liz and Brian. It probably doesn’t help that I am drunk right now, but I can’t stop crying. I hurt like you would not believe. For the first time in over a year, I finally realize that it will never work between us.

I went out with friends tonight. The only thing I could think of to do to numb the pain was drink. And I did. And it brought out more emotions than I thought. I left the bar, Mike was pissed because he figured I was drunk, and I was. But, before I even left the parking lot, I cried for ten minutes. I was numbed with the alcohol, but still felt the pain. It was a tough drive home, not because I was intoxicated, but because the tears blurred my vision. I kept the speed limit the entire time. And, leave it to me to get a “sign”. As I was turning the corner, “our” song came on the radio. I can’t do it. I can’t take it. In a perfect world, we could get through this… but it’s not perfect, and we can’t. I accept defeat. I’ll never see him again. He’ll never hold me, kiss me, love me, ever again. I have felt heartache, but never to this extent. I need something stronger than alcohol to mask the pain. But, what can? Someone, please help. I don’t know if I can do this on my own.