my sacrifices

here is what i have given up b/c we want this baby so badly.  i think you will see why i am impatient to be pregnant now instead of later.

1.  i quit smoking

2.  i stopped taking my Ditropan XL–these pills are for overactive bladder. imagine being pregnant with an overactive bladder.  i may never leave this house again (until i deliver). 

3.  i stopped taking my Xanax–these pills relax me.  they make it possible for me to go to ppl’s houses and that kind of thing. without them, the chiropractor even makes me nervous. basically, if i don’t totally trust you (probably b/c i’m not really familiar with you or you’re a jerk or there is just something about you that makes me nervous), i am going to need a xanax to deal with you.

4. i am 26.  we just decided we wanted a baby.  a few months ago, i would have told you we were not planning on having ANY children unless they came by surprise.  now we have done a complete turnaround and can’t wait to be pregnant.  i am getting older now, though, and i sort of wish i’d decided sooner but i’m still young enough that it shouldn’t be a problem. my husband, d.j., is 27.

some background information on me:

like i said, i’m 26.

i work from home. i am what they call a "struggling writer". fortunately for me, my husband has a good job as a manufacturing engineer (that’s what his diploma says)/junior designer (that’s basically what his job would call him).  i was a waitress before we bought our house and moved too far for me to continue that job.  i don’t have a license (yes, i know, we will need to do something about that when we have a baby) so the half hour to work was too far for d.j. to truck me (he’d have half hour to take me there, half hour home, half hour to pick me up, half hour home) there.

i have my Master of Arts degree in English Literature and Creative Writing.  i earned that at The University of Windsor.  i earned my Bachelor of Arts (honors) in English Language and Literature at King’s College @ The University of Western Ontario.  i hope to be a writer. for now, i try to get published and i try to find work as a freelance writer. i have done pro-bono jobs and have done 2 paying jobs so far.  not terrible but not great. 

i collect Employment Insurance, for the time being.  it runs out after august.

my mom is around a lot. she takes me shopping a lot. wait til we have a baby–she’ll be buying us all kinds of stuff.  she doesn’t get to see her other 7 (? i think it’s 7) grandchildren very much b/c my brother is a drunken idiot who i haven’t seen in years and don’t want to and my sister has a pot-addicted boyfriend who keeps ruining Christmas (and she is too weak to stop him).

this diary was made so that i can vent about wanting to be pregnant and hopefully so that i can meet ppl who are going through the same thing.

by the way, we’ve only been trying this month, so who knows? it could have happened already. it could take months.

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