June 30, 2009

pout

i’m really pouty today. i’m pouty that sawyer is only in school one day a week now instead of 2. that makes me feel bad, like a horrible excuse for a mother. i’m pouty about the mom who was on What Not To Wear today. she had a smokin’ body but not to her; she wasn’t done losing the weight. what i would give to look like she did. i’m pouty b/c of the weather. it’s not hot enough! what the hell happened to summer? you know, that thing we used to get this time of year? it’s july!!! i’m pouty about never getting time for myself most of all. i really really need some time off from my "job." these little guys are too much for me some days. i am not a great mother of 2, at least not while one of them is this young and doesn’t sleep through unless he’s near me. i’m pouty about my bladder; i really wanted the meds to help me. and here i am with another infection and i just don’t think the meds are working. maybe in time? they’re supposed to work within days though. what the hell is wrong with me? why can’t i just be normal?

but that’s nothing compared to losing a child (thinking of one of my fave’s family members. so sorry gina) or having to deal with fatal health issues. i have to try to remember these things and i do try but i get so down.

then i feel guilty b/c i’m not good at counting my blessings.

seriously, i’m sure there are people who wish to be in my shoes. so why don’t i want to be in them? good marriage, 2 lovely boys, a house, food to eat, a town in which we don’t have to lock our houses up to leave them, etc. etc. what am i looking for?

i’m sure it will get better once beau is older. i’m just not into the first year.

haha he’s blowing raspberries on my leg.

***

mrowsera

July 1, 2009

Yeah, it’s been pouring buckets here all day. Friday is Moss’s birthday and we were hoping to go to the beach, but I just don’t know…

Manda Melle

RYN: It’s all about the context of the question for me. Like if Trev had meant it as ‘Wow, you’re being a super bitch, must be PMS time’ then I would’ve been pissed. And I hate when guys try to blame PMS for us being pissed at them. No, I’m pissed because you screwed up lol But neither of those was the case today so he gets to live to see tomorrow 😉

M.a.m.a.P.a.n.t.s

Some days are just like that though, and it can be hard to count the blessings. Just try…you’ve got it good….even with some hard times mixed in.

Star_North

I bet more alone time would do you wonders. What about your mom or sister babysitting more? Or dennis’ family? Like you said, things will probably get easier from here, as beau grows.

~*~Jersey*Girl~*~

Hey keep that head up high! Have you tried talking to your dr about feeling this way? Tho I don’t believe in a lot of that mumbo jumbo of medications nemore, but see if your store has this vitamin 5-HTP, exactly like that, but ask ur dr 1st b/c u r on other meds, it helps me a lot and its only a vitamin. Maybe u can check it out! What are ovol drops ne how?