strange

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it’s strange to be at this point. i don’t feel anything yet. don’t have much of a bump or a lot of signs. but i know the baby is there and it makes me happy. i’m anxious to get started. to show. to tell others. all that fun stuff.

i’m worried about it too. what if have PPD again? what if i can’t handle two kids? i think a key factor in my being able to handle it is moving. i’m not happy in this town and i have to get out of here. the city is for me. this small town life is crap. i grew up in the country so i thought living in a town would be nice. i’d be almost in the country but not stranded in the middle of nowhere.

nope. still feel stranded.

i’m having fun posting and reading about pregnancy on mothering.com and other sites. having fun thinking of things we need to get and jotting down boy names i like (we have a lot of trouble choosing boy names.) i even have a pregnancy calendar now and i’m filling it in slowly too. monday, i have an appt with my family doctor. i’m about 5 weeks now, i guess. it’s still new and exciting. it will be the whole way through. sawyer’s going to wonder what’s wrong with me when i start growing! lol.

most fun of all, dennis and i are holding a happy secret together.

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