It’s Monday

I woke up this morning, and it’s Monday. The weekend flew by so quickly. I can’t deny that I had a great Saturday with sister A. I think she’s the by far the only sibling that has been very sweet to remember me. Unfortunately, she lives under the same roof as my parents and is unable to give me her full support. I understand her in some way. I didn’t had the power to fight harder for my first “love.” I let go most of what I ever liked to accomplished when I lived the same household. I believe everyone that went through the same phase or situation I did understands the conflict it is to live with families that are against same sex relationships. Often people marry the “king” also married with the family, if I make any sense. That isn’t my case. I know not everyone goes what I go through or avoids any drama.

It’s Monday with full of surprises. I saw this paraprofessional and is working at the same school site. She made my entire 2024-2025 school year a living hell. When I see her, I only say to myself, “May God forgive her, please” I think she found me as her punching bag. I swear to God that I never done any wrong to her other than being thankful for her accomplishment to be like she was another teacher in my classroom. I showed her my appreciation, I picked up her brains, and she instead went on to talk trash to most parents and behind my back. I don’t know who took her in again. I saw my vice principal giving her that “welcome back,” she went up to her and hugged her. That shit stung me. Yes, part of my anger was with my vice principal. I make mistakes and I don’t get any hugs. Maybe I was okay to see my vice principal hugging the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and other teachers, but with this paraprofessional M., was too much that I wanted to walk out the cafeteria doors.

We had a follow up meeting. The email she sent me was awfully late. I received it this morning so I assumed out meeting was tomorrow. I received a call from my vice principal. I went to her office and I spoke about some incidents from Days 1-8. I thought she send a write up to HR for some reason. I did not read the e-mail that if I had the 3rd person on the phone or recording her then she would go further to write me up. Even still I was aggravated due to jealousy… I tried not to vent out my feelings. I know it’s not right to develop these feelings and I wanted to be heard. I don’t know… I wanted to write up HR, then I ended up leaving things as it is. I did a lot to personalize my classroom and it hurt to admit that I really wanted to impress my vice principal too. At the same time I knew I was jealous to see her hugging the para that I dislike. She looked as if she enjoyed her return. She looked so… happy. She looked gorgeous more than other days. She always looks beautiful don’t get me wrong… *Sigh* why didn’t I tell her in her office? Honestly, it’s Monday and seeing that monster diminished my chances. I do want to say that my vice principal seems to always be available to answer my emails even on weekends, does it mean anything? No, she just doing “her job.” Her job doesn’t qualify her to hug every teachers, does it? Now, she’s my evaluator by default. Should I be grateful? Maybe… But still, she’s doing “her job.” It’s nothing to be glad about. I will have my feelings sit and not have her know what is really going on with me…