Parent’s Day/Not everyone is quite like me
It’s been weeks since I heard from my family. I expected my father to phone call me. My own mother is very manipulative and it’s ashamed that she lacks understanding of my feelings. She prevents my father from talking to his daughter. I don’t hold pride, but it’s more like a “time” for them to think why I am no longer beg and my mother was in charge of excluding me from every big event. She’s in the hierarchy and I can’t dispute her position as our mother. It is important for my sister, niece, and even my father to have him present everywhere they go. I have the smallest title, with the exception. There’s no room for me to hate them. I don’t. I’m not ready to love my family at the moment. I can’t say that I feel any pain either.
No one dared to talk to both my wife and I in a civil manner. My mother could have talked to me in a less painful way. She just didn’t want me to be at my sister’s wedding, there was no baby shower (when I was pregnant with my daughter), now my niece’s graduation day, and many more. She finds justification to make herself great by finding the little things to get me on my last nerve. I have ignored her remarks, and when she doesn’t seem to achieve that as her goal, then she acts the way she did last time I went to get my car keys (my previous entry). Can I take in more pain in my life?
Everyday I look at my daughter’s smile. She’s a mature child that always cures my wounds with a piece of cheesecake, hugs and kisses. What more can I ask from her? God send me an angel, my bundle of joy. It tears my heart apart, yes it does. I can’t fix my mother neither can I have my father grow some love for his grandchild. That I hate myself. I love when I receive attention from my father. I reminisce when I was his daddy’s girl, he was my mentor. I know I will miss out Father’s Day, so where is his love for me?
I envy my daughter. She has her daddy and my wife too. My wife is a great parent figure since day one. Every year we celebrate Parent’s Day. Is my way to thank my wife for being there for our daughter. She’s no father. A parent has no gender, and she truly is a strong warrior parent. Thank you!
Not everyone is quite like me
Everyone has a whole different view of things. Most compared to me have a mind like gold. Some pick up information quicker than others. I, for instance, like doing things at my own pace. I like to take my time to understand things thoroughly, and I enjoy the process of learning. While others may excel in speed, I value depth and precision in my work.
At work, I can’t seem to find the right words. I have kindly set clear expectations, but people tend to grab them, put them aside, and forget about them. They say they’ll do it tomorrow, and expressively say they’ll gather materials the next day. Tomorrow turns out to be zero accomplishments. That, of course, kind of brings disappointments. I have asked teachers. However, they all appear to be booked up with their own agendas. Therefore, I did not longer bother with them. I would rather take their inconsistency and much rather do things on my own will. It’s part of my learning experience too. To avoid the bothersome tasks.
I think today I learned it the harder way… from my wife. She is also one of them. I am eager to comply with the instruments needed for the next academic school year. I thought that it would give her the pleasure of supporting me. I got it. I think some things were meant for me to work on my own. She’s helping them, but I promise it will not be the last. I don’t recall venting at her doing this favor to laminate my personal plans. It was just a reminder, but even so, it caused people to wreck their morning coffee.
I spend my break having a more productive summer. I thought we were going to have some summer fun plans. Every time I have a stress load and procrastinate, time beats me up. That’s when I received nothing but complaints about my unavailability. Now, I’m here at home, waiting to go back to work because it seems like being around me isn’t enough. What is? I have to understand others’ fears of walking down the streets and being taken away. When am I going to learn to take care of my own business? I like to handle things in specific ways that others don’t quite like. I know when I have a deadline, I like to take care of it and I do so because I much rather utilize the time frame with my daughter whenever possible. I just don’t want it to sit long nor do it last minute… But if it’s too much, I am my own self, meaning no one is quite like me…