One of my favorite books of poetry is The Best Loved Poems of the American People. I loved it so much that after many many years, I had to go out and buy a new one. This poem and the one that will follow has always been a favorite of mine.
My mother died exactly 5 months and a day after my son Christopher. I am not sure I have ever really grieved for her. Some days, I just want to crawl up in her arms and have her soothe my aching heart. My Mom was too sick to come up from Florida for Christopher’s death and funeral, so the beginning of Dec I went down to visit her. She needed to see for herself that I was OK, I wasn’t. I just wanted her to make the pain go away. I also feared that my grief would be her undoing. We all knew it was only a matter of time before she died. When I got there she was so upset and when I started to get upset it affected her health. She thought she was slick but I saw her move the oxygen levels on her machine and I saw her make her way slowly into her room to take another nebulizer hit over and over again. I truly thought my grief would kill her, so I shut it down.
Someone on here posted about missing their mom and this poem came to mind. It is for all of us who some days just want to be a child again and have Mom make everything ALL BETTER.
ROCK ME TO SLEEP
BY ELIZABETH AKERS ALLEN
Backward, turn backward, O Time, in your flight,
Make me a child again just for tonight!
Mother, come back from the echoless shore,
Take me again to your heart as of yore;
Kiss from my forehead the furrows of care,
Smooth the few silver threads out of my hair;
Over my slumbers your loving watch keep;—
Rock me to sleep, mother, – rock me to sleep!
Backward, flow backward, O tide of the years!
I am so weary of toil and of tears,—
Toil without recompense, tears all in vain,—
Take them, and give me my childhood again!
I have grown weary of dust and decay,—
Weary of flinging my soul-wealth away;
Weary of sowing for others to reap;—
Rock me to sleep, mother – rock me to sleep!
Tired of the hollow, the base, the untrue,
Mother, O mother, my heart calls for you!
Many a summer the grass has grown green,
Blossomed and faded, our faces between:
Yet, with strong yearning and passionate pain,
Long I tonight for your presence again.
Come from the silence so long and so deep;—
Rock me to sleep, mother, – rock me to sleep!
Over my heart, in the days that are flown,
No love like mother-love ever has shone;
No other worship abides and endures,—
Faithful, unselfish, and patient like yours:
None like a mother can charm away pain
From the sick soul and the world-weary brain.
Slumber’s soft calms o’er my heavy lids creep;—
Rock me to sleep, mother, – rock me to sleep!
Come, let your brown hair, just lighted with gold,
Fall on your shoulders again as of old;
Let it drop over my forehead tonight,
Shading my faint eyes away from the light;
For with its sunny-edged shadows once more
Haply will throng the sweet visions of yore;
Lovingly, softly, its bright billows sweep;—
Rock me to sleep, mother, – rock me to sleep!
Mother, dear mother, the years have been long
Since I last listened your lullaby song:
Sing, then, and unto my soul it shall seem
Womanhood’s years have been only a dream.
Clasped to your heart in a loving embrace,
With your light lashes just sweeping my face,
Never hereafter to wake or to weep;—
Rock me to sleep, mother, – rock me to sleep!
Well, that made me cry. I miss her so. I hated being a child though. But life has been hard. Humans have been not so great. Being an animal is taxing.
Thank you. 💗
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My dog, Roxy, saw me cry and came to kiss my face.
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My mother died just before my 10th birthday. Now, I am at a loss for words.
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