Still Adjusting

Once A daddy’s girl

Been missing my father a lot more, feeling like I have a parent to count on, a shoulder to lean on. The person I viewed as my hero couldn’t be far from it. He fell into addiction a few yrs back, after never doing *rugs, since then he hasn’t been  the same, I will never be the same, he broke me while I was grieving my brother in laws death, and pregnant when all I wanted was a little comfort . I miss who he was and feel like I’m constantly grieving a person who’s alive

How does one explain that.. how !?!?!if I can’t even understand it.. I love him, but I can’t be around him nor sustain an actual conversation with him… adjustment hasn’t kicked in yrs later..he was at one point the best grandpa and dad…