fading away

She was a very intelligent, well educated woman as an author. She loved languages and sprinkled her sentences with perfectly chosen foreign phrases. A strong woman with equally strong opinions and a great sense of humor, she never stopped fighting against Alzheimer’s until the very end. Her free spirit is well expressed by bold strokes and her title of this abstract.

“It’s Boring to be Sensible”

She walks around looking at her body, looking at the wall

as if she is looking through to the other side.

She looks at you like she’s looking through you.

She walks around like she’s so very lost

“Where am I?” she says

“Where is my bed to lay my head?”

“She’s so lost, lost in her mind.

She walks down the hall way

as to expect to see lots of people roaming around the room

the expectations of her mind is let down

as she just walks into an empty room.

“Where are all the people?” she says

“They were just here seconds’ ago”.

She seeks to find herself, to find others

to recognize others but cannot put the puzzle together,

she wonders who am I, what am I,

she wants to go home but

she cannot find the way out of the woods,

that are filled with thick foggy haze.

Trapped in her mind trapped in the woods

“Where am I now?” she says gazing out into the room

there’s no one there to meet her needs.

She doesn’t say a word but smiles lovingly and laughs with glee

and says “Hey” to everyone she sees.

Because she knows one day she will find her way back

to where her home is to be.

God be with her, angels protect her,

Jesus be near her.

We dearly love our sister dear.

” I love you Mom”

Written by

Margaret Maxwell

Austin TX.

Oct. 18th 2001

Her Mother has Alzheimer’s

It takes a special person to work with dementia patients most nurses steer away from this type of nursing; perhaps they can’t muster up the strength to watch a person die a slow death, unlike ER nurses who dance in the fire with death at their doors. I, on the other hand, thrive in this environment. You could say I’m in my element doing what I was predestined to do with my life. A life of helping people who are literally trapped in their own bodies and minds. Yes, I have tried other types of specialties but I always feel a tug in my heart and I’m lead back home where I belong.

Let me introduce you to some of my patients:

THE ACCOUNTANT

He is the one patient who truly gets me out of the bed with anticipation at 5 am. I can’t wait to give him his first hug of the morning. He makes me laugh with his little rhymes “Mable can you set the table if you are able”. On same days he is frightened and confused but with my gentle touch he is reassured. He was a very prominent CPA in my community I tease him and ask if he every dirtied the books. “I wouldn’t do such a thing, I was fair and honest with my numbers.” On same rare occasions I get the opportunity to observe him conducting a business meeting with only him and the thin air in attendance. I know I shouldn’t do this but it is fun to jump into the conversation he is having and give my input pretending I’m his secretary. “lets forgo all these taxes and embezzle a little money, it will be our secret.” He is of good character and threatens to fire me on the spot for having such a notion. I love him and have the utmost respect for him. He has dementia and is almost totally blind.

THE ORTHPEDIC SURGEON

A top notch orthoped who practiced in Seattle up until two years ago. With tears in her eyes, his wife recounted the day when they went to his high school class reunion it really hit hard when Doc didn’t recognize any of his best friends from school-this set the wheels in motion and was the beginning of his fading away. “You cannot imagine how difficult it would be to live your life looking into a snowstrom.”

He has a very progressive case of AD the snow that blinds him will bind him.

THE VICE PRESIDENT OF 3M

Baby sis come to my work the other day she said she would wait in her car until I was finished with my work. I invited her to hang with me and my patients but she opted to wait in her car. Later, she told me she was intrigued with the man who was sitting near a window. She sat in her car and watched. I explained to her about the President. He always sits or stands in the same corner by the window never wanting to leave. We have all tried to coerce him away but he becomes disjointed and returns to “his place in the world” once a VP a life time ago and now reduced to a squatter holding court in his corner.

MS NORDSTROMS

Her appearance is immaculate with carefully applied lip liner and eyebrow pencil. Her lip stick always matches what she has chosen to wear for the day. All her clothes are from Nordies. She is graceful and well poised. She is a very attentive mother to her two children “my twins” she will tell on lookers. The babies are wrapped tight in their blankets and bundled up for the day. Nevermind that she is 90 years old -age is just a number pulled out of hat. Nothing wrong with being a mother again so late in life. Her family tried to take away the dolls it was rather embarresing for them but now they understand there is no harm in nurturing even if they are just dolls., but to her they are her livelihood. So in comes the bassinet and bottles.