concert

best fucking concert ever! of course there were pics and videos taken. not great quality because i wanted to watch the concert, not just archive it. i have yet to go through them and see what’s what. bits of the concert were already up by monday on youtube.  ha, i’m betting they were posted that night. breaking benjamin played all of my favorite songs, which isn’t hard to do because there’s so many. avenged sevenfold was pretty good. i like them a lot more than i used to. i still can’t get over their drummer though. that poor fuck. they’re doing a tribute song to the drummer that died and there the new guy is, drumming along. i bet it was awkward backstage. manfred and i got a good laugh out of that.

fairlight just can’t wait to be shipped off to siberia. manfred and her finally talked, but apparently she didn’t give a fuck because what does she do? call some chick a bitch and told her to shut the fuck up, resulting in a four day suspension. she came in, trying to set it up like she didn’t do anything, and how this girl is always making fun of her. yeah, i don’t fucking care anymore. you’re not a hothouse flower, you’re a fucking human being. fuck. she said some other stuff designed to piss me off, which only partly worked. i told her to get over it after i fumed for a little bit. so i talked to some school people and i just don’t care anymore. i mean, i do, of course i do because otherwise i wouldn’t be ripping my hair out, but shit’s exhausting, yo.

manfred and i were talking last weekend. we figure it’ll take at the most five grand to fix this place up. professional cleaners,  wall people, you know, stuff that’s usually taken care of by the landlord before you move in. since we took the place “as is” for a rent discount, it’s not just our stuff here we’re fixing. we’re also fixing what whomever lived here busted up. i honestly don’t think it’ll be five grand, but that’s the ceiling. he also wants to get me a phone. i said i would prefer a smart phone, but really, i’m cool with a dumb phone. i mean, as long as i can call who i need to when i need to, right? he said i could have any phone i wanted, even the newest iphone. i was like, bwha?? i don’t even know what’s out there phone wise! i am leaning towards an android just because it’s the one i have the most trigger time with. i do know i’m not going to have a turbo 2. between the two of us, we’ve gone through three of those things because the charging port is fucky. he also said something that both didn’t surprise me and knocked my socks off. i know, i didn’t think it was possible either, but yep.

he said he wanted me to focus on my ged (not surprising) and he also wanted me to take a gap year. there went my socks. i asked him, i was like, dude, what the hell? i’m pretty sure that only applies to college. nope, he said. he told me that because i’ve done nothing but make sure the baby doesn’t die every day for the past four years that i deserve a break and that i should be able to go where i want when i want without having to worry about anything. pretty sure there’s a law that states you have to have sex with a guy after they say that.  but for real though, that’s basically been my wet dream for a while now. i would love to just wander out the door without having to wait for someone to come home or taking five years to find the right stuff for badness to wear outside. he gets it and if i had a soul, i’m pretty sure it would have toes and those toes would have melted.

i am kind of worried. what if i’ve gotten dumber over years and can’t pass my ged on the first try? man, that would suck so much. college is even worse. what if i get there and find out i’m not actually cut out to be a mortician? there goes that life plan i’ve had for ten some odd years. i have no idea what kind of back up plan is laying around because i haven’t bothered fleshing one out! man, i’m a minor mess. he’s not concerned, he says because it’ll figure itself out and he’s right, it will. so i get to college and find out what i want isn’t for me, i’ve got four years for something else to find me. if not, then i guess i just need to start accepting the fact that i just might be one of those people who has no real reason or purpose. maybe i’m just meant to be an npc my whole life. disappointing, but no more than the other billion epiphanies i’ve had over my lifetime, right?

  manfred came home pretty jazzed last night. he said that march third, axiom’s taking everyone to oaklawn. i know they do horse racing down there, and i think he’s been before? but anyway, he was really excited about it. he said the bus has a wet bar, and a tab at oaklawn, there’s a limit to the tab, but still that’s pretty cool. he said i could go, too. i’ve never been to a horse race before. there’s quite the nerd culture going on there, too. manfred’s coworker who sits behind him has all the pop!s of doctor who, the ones that have been sitting on my amazon cart since the dawn of time, the bastard. he watches a lot of twitch gaming streams and he’s not the only one. of course the nerds would be on the dark side.

  lynn the gas station guy and mark our next door neighbor want to hang out with manfred playing pool and smoking cubans. i told him if he bought me fast food for dinner, he could go. he was all, we might have plans and i laughed in his face. he’s the only pleasant person in our family and he thinks we have plans. hahahaha no. i told him whatever we might (don’t) have going on can always be moved to saturday. joke’s on him because we orginally scheduled everything for saturday anyway, so ha!