Food Angers People

Wednesday, November 15, 2006
10:55 A.M.

A recent stir in the cable community has media moguls taking drastic action to change the ratings of a certain cable network to something more suitable for its content. The cable network known as the Food Network has its average rating of "TV-G" raised to a more appropriate rating after several angry viewers reported concerns of content being viewed by an unsuitable audience.

One angry woman phoned in to the Food Network executives complaining that her children were exposed to suggestive content:

"I came home one afternoon after work to find my young boys glued to the television set staring at what I believed to be soft-core porn. I was horrified as I stood in shock as the woman began to moan and lick her lips in the most lustful manner; all over food! It’s just not healthy for these young boys. Something should be done about this," the woman said to reporters.

Contact to these executives who received the phone call did not return any phone calls or E-mail messages at this time.

Some people have suggested raising the average rating to TV-14 and some have even suggested raising it as high as TV-M. One woman who suggested raising the rating to TV-M had this to say: "One evening, I came home after hanging out with my friends to find my husband sitting on the couch watching the Food Network," she said through her tears, "…with his pants off!"

No additional comments from this woman were collected as of this time.

However the amount of people who have expressed concern for a raise in the average rating of the Food Network, it is highly unlikely the Food Network will ever receive a rating as high as TV-G. Sex appeal sells and when mixed with food can certainly attract any one interested in eating food or also making food.

One person who wished to remain anonymous had this to say: "I love watching the Food Network. However, I don’t see why they even need to have a television rating for some of the shows. The food is the star… Why would anyone want to censor food? Unless it goes against your religion, I see nothing wrong with the Food Network. Having a beautiful woman or man prepare the food is simply just a bonus. I say, why have ugly people making delicious food? It just doesn’t mix."

Local chefs have expressed their understanding for the ability of food to be as pleasurable as a sexual experience and have noted that while the two have similar responses, they are two completely separate systems.

"Food has everything to do with the digestive system. Our bodies can respond to food in different ways by using our senses, but in the end all the food flows through the digestive system. It’s silly to think that food could get someone pregnant," one of the local chefs commented.

A spokesman from the Food Network notified us that the network has considered all concerns for raising the rating, but at this time have no intention on re-evaluating the content being viewed: "The ratings system is separate from our company and is only provided as a suggestive warning to viewers. We do not make the ratings for the network and therefore cannot be held liable for the content our audiences will see."