1633 take your picture

We’re putting together a pictorial calendar to give to our families as Christmas gifts.  Last night TBU and I were going through the last 12 months pictures to find great Gus shots. 

Every once in awhile a picture of Gus and my mommy would pop up on the screen.

Which was very raw and made me sad.

But at the same time…for the past few days I’ve been under the impression that we just don’t have many pictures of them together.  I guess I just kept thinking that when she felt better or when she had more energy, I’d take tons of pictures of them together. 

I thought I’d have years and years to capture pictures of Gus and my mommy.

Which I didn’t.

And I’ve felt just HORRIBLE and GUILTY about it. 

You can’t imagine the tremendous sadness that I felt when I thought there weren’t many pics of them together.

The pictures I found are a gift to me now.  I wish there were more of them.

Don’t be a fool like me.

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December 6, 2006

I was a fool like you. I have maybe five photos of my son with my mother and I regret not taking more.

December 6, 2006

Yeah. My mom is huge on picture taking, which annoys me. But I know those will probably be precious later. I should change my attitude for sure.

December 6, 2006
December 6, 2006
December 6, 2006

From the girl who raises hell every time my mom whips out a camera…thank you.

great advice….

December 6, 2006

Great advice sweetie… 🙂

December 6, 2006

Because Ryan only has my dad as grandpa & he seems him so rarely–I always have my camera when we are with him. Good advice, sweets.

December 7, 2006

Yes. I looked and looked for a pic of me and my mom and I can only find a handful (less) and I was a baby/small child in all of them. Sucks.

December 16, 2006

This will happen for a long time. My mother died 10 years ago this February. Everytime i stumble across her photo, I die all over again inside. Same with my father. It’s just that part of you that will always miss them waking up and saying ‘yes I still love you and miss you and am not happy that you aren’t here’. It happens and it’s just a reminder of how much you loved her. She loves you right back!!!!! The best photos are locked up in our memories, because they are moving and you can hear and feel everything in that moment. Hold onto those, and don’t let yourself focus on the regret or the should’ves. Keep her in your heart and remember the time you did have.

my mom, who lost her hair to chemo earlier this year keeps telling me “When my hair grows back, we’ll take pictures of Sam and I” so I completely understand this, next visit, I am making her take a shitload.