1636 It all started with flowers

My mother has been gone for a little more than 2 weeks now.

It wasn’t until last night that I had my first meltdown.  Sure, there have been tears here and there, but last night was the first real release.

It was triggered by floral.  Actually, it was the death & dismemberment of the large floral arrangement sent by our family to decorate the memorial service.  The flowers had been wilting and many little petals were showering the floor.  Since today was garbage day, I knew I had to pick out "the good stems" and get rid of the rest of the arrangement or I’d be stuck with the monstrosity for another week.

My darling husband brought me a vase and I started picking out the good roses and cala lilies.

I stood there and I just lost it.

He held me for the longest  time while I finally let the floodgates open.

Then he helped me pick through the rest of the flowers.  He asked me if I was sure it was it was ok to take the arrangement out to the curb.

This morning I had to get up and out kinda early for an OB appointment.  As I pulled out the driveway, I noticed the flowers weren’t there.  I guess I assumed TBU squashed them into one of the garbage bags.  Until I drove around the corner and saw them sitting next to the garbage can at a neighbor’s house.

Which made me crazy.

I know that we’d picked them over and thrown them away.  I know that garbage is "fair game" once it hits the curb.  I know that this stranger/neighbor had no idea that these were the most emotionally charged flowers of my lifetime.

That’s the rational me.

The irrational me just wanted to scream at them.  "Who the hell steals funeral flowers?"