1647 Ass Kickin’ at Gymboree

Ok, so the preggo needs to rant a bit… indulge me…

Sometimes I shop at Gymboree.  Not all the time, but sometimes I luck out and find something cute on sale or hanging on the clearance rack.  Otherwise, I think they are a pretty big rip-off for kids clothes. 

I happened to spend a little dough in there over a month ago…some cute baby things were "on sale" and if you spent $50 or more they would give you something called "GYMBUCKS".  That day I "earned" Gymbucks valued at $25 off a $50 purchase.

Gymbucks are clearly a gimic to drag your @ss back into the store with the promise of "saving" money later on.

I had to wait until the official redemption period to cash in these Gymbucks.  These suckers were burning a hole in my wallet and I wanted to get them used ASAP.  Plus, with the birth of Mr.2 looming around the corner, I had no intention of waiting around until I was well enough to venture over to the mall and probably forgetting to use them altogether. 

The annoying mommy in me thinks it will be Super Fun to dress my boys in matching clothes from time to time.  I found the perfect outfit at Gymboree for inflicting this kind of pain on my sons. 

Opening Day of Gymbuck Redemption Season was yesterday.  I figured it was best to get my butt into the store first thing in the morning to avoid the hordes of like-minded mommies.  Clearly, I am a rookie when it comes to Gymbuck redemption.  Clearly.

This store is not a huge space to begin with.  But crowd in 30+ mommies with their strollers built for 1,2, or even 3 and nothing but mayhem happens.  Typically, all the strollers are left in little clusters in the aisles – this gives the mommies the most room for scanning the racks.  Nobody is gonna mess with your kid – even if you are a teensy bit out of visual contact.  (Besides, if someone tried to steal your kid, they could NEVER make it through the crowds to the door before they were mauled by all the other mommies.) 

So, I knew EXACTLY what I wanted to purchase with those damned Gymbucks.  I just wanted to get to the store before all the sizes were gone.  I manuevered my stroller through the traffic to the wallspace devoted to the collection I wanted to pick from.  There was another BITCH MOMMY (complete with cellphone headset b/c she was so terribly busy) already camped out in front  of the collection.  Only, she used her stroller/child to "cock-block" the whole section for herself.  She positioned her precious Little Lucas (the future cross-dresser) at one end of the section & she stood there staring at the clothes.  She had NOT come prepared with her purchases pre-selected and could not decide which argyle sweater vest and plaid shorts to get for Little Lucas.  Nor chould she decide which stupid coordinating shirt would be best.

Good Grief woman.

So, I parked Gus to my left and I literally leaned all the way over Little Lucas to try and look at sizes for the few items I could reach.  I played by the rules and did not move her child/stroller out of the way – there is a PC Code regarding moving another Bitch’s child afterall.  She saw me there – she even asked me questions about the clothes as if I was her salesclerk or something.

In my frustration (growing anger) with her rudeness, I opted to stand behind the next clothing rack to wait for her to finish and move on.  She didn’t.  She stayed there contemplating plaids, argyles, and stripes for over 10 minutes.  Luckily, 2 salesclerks came by to offer assistance.  I quietly made my plight known to my clerk and she somehow made it known to The Bitch Mommy’s clerk.  They actually had to move a rack of clothing and ask her to move her stroller so that I could get in there to look at the collection too.  It was truly bizarre.

Unfortunately the store was missing one of the things that I’d come for.  They’d run out of the size I wanted for Mr2.  My wonderful clerk did offer that I could probably find the item online or that another store could ship it for free since they were out of the item.  I decided to cut my losses, pay for the items I did have in my hand and get in line with the other mommies/strollers waiting for a register.  I lucked out and got in line just as it crept to a bit of a lull…only 5 women in front of me instead of 10.

Another Mommy claimed her place behind me – albeit verbally b/c she couldn’t get over to the physical end of the line b/c of the chaos of racks, women, and strollers.  Not 2 seconds passed and Bitch Mommy shows up  looking for the end of the line.  I confirm that I am the end of the line, but pointed out the lady who is "in line" behind me.  Bitch Mommy was all kinds of pissy about that.  The best part, though…the lady behind me had a huge return as well as a huge purchase…AND she let her friend cut into line too!  HAHAHAHAHA!

Ok, so I’m over Bitch Mommy.  It was just such a stupid way to act.  We were all crammed into the store together…she didn’t have to be like that.  Before she hopped in the checkout line, I even noticed that she was leaving Little Lucas all over the place while she stepped to the store entrance without him to try and find enough cell service to place some calls.

As soon as I got home I located my missing item on the website.  I could’ve just completed my sale, but I opted to call the 800 number in hopes of convincing someone to waive the shipping fee.  Which was the most brilliant thing I did all day.  This lovely woman found my item and agreed to waive shipping.

Here’s what I’ve learned about Gymbuck Redemption Opening Day:

1) If you really want to do your shopping in the store – put all your items on hold in the back room earlier in the week to make sure you don’t lose your sizes

2) Why bother?  You can redeem your Gymbucks online!  Granted, there will be a shipping cost, but that would’ve been ok compared to the hassle of Bitch Mommy

So, here’s the Super Fun outfit that Gus and Mr2 will both be sporting this summer:

I might even go all crazy and hook ’em up with the coordinating sweater vest…just to ensure that their years of therapy will be worth every dime: