1695 bittersweet (*edit*)

Last week the boys & I were in the Hallmark store stocking up.  I remembered that we needed to choose a Mother’s Day card for TBU’s mom.  So, I turned to Gus and said, "we need to choose a card for Grandma" and he responded without skipping a beat, "a card for Grandma Phyllis?"

Let me make this clear…Grandma Phyllis is my mother, not TBU’s.

Also, I really don’t think Gus has any real memory of my mommy.

So, when he asked if he were choosing a card for Grandma Phyllis, I was really taken aback.  I short of fumbled together some sort of response while I tried not to burst into tears in the Hallmark store.

Last night as I was in the twilight…on the verge of falling asleep, I had a short little dream of my mommy.  I could see her plain as day.  Her bobbed hair was down around her face.  She walked toward me smiling and said, "hi, honey" in her sweet voice.

I’m not sure what roused me from this dream, but I was so sad to see her go.  "don’t go.  no!  don’t go." 

I miss my mommy so much.

Some days are better than others, but I always miss my mommy.

So those of you who can…go kiss your mama.  Even if you don’t want to.