1768 Oh the humanity!

Saucy Scale: 3

I am exhausted.

I sent my husband out for the evening.  A friend of ours is having a concert & I know TBU was much more interested in going than I was.

My children are enjoying a bowl of dry cheerios & apples for dinner.  I am a lame mom.  I suppose it could be worse…I could’ve handed ’em each a pop tart and sent them on their merry way (just kidding…when there are pop tarts in this house, they are NOT for the children).  That was supposed to be a joke, but I’m not sure it translated well.

My belly is just huge.  If you’ve seen the intro to Jon & Kate plus 8, you might remember what Kate’s belly looked like when nearing the end of her 2nd pregnancy – it seriously looked like a watermelon.  That’s exactly how I feel right now.  At least 4 people commented on the growth spurt of my belly since seeing me a week ago.

Last night I was thinking about my physical discomfort & it made me cry.  I’m still a long way off from the end of this pregnancy…and it isn’t going to get any easier for me physically.

I can only sleep alternating between my left & right sides.  If I wake up on my back, I’m nauseous.  If I need to roll from one side to the other, I have to completely wake up in order to get the job done.

We have an "L" shaped couch in our family room.  I spend much of my time sunk into the corner section.  As of late, I have found that it is getting more difficult to get myself out of the couch by myself.

I am like a turtle on my back.  Completely stranded.

Last week Mattson ran away from me at church.  I am in no position to be chasing anyone anywhere.  He took off down a long hallway and hid once he reached the other end.  I was freaking out & calling his name.  I turned around just in time to notice his little body running back down the hallway where we’d come from.  I knew he was safe in our church, but what if he’d pulled that stunt in a store or the mall?  Or *gasp* a parking lot?  I just can’t trust him & I certainly can’t chase him anymore.

Yesterday was a Swedish holiday – Lucia Day.  Earlier in the week I wanted to bake the traditional Lucia Buns (saffron buns) for my family.  Before I could start baking, I needed to do some kitchen clean-up.  By the time I even started making the bread dough, I was exhausted.  Then, there was a problem with the yeast.  Either it had gone bad or I killed it by adding milk that was too hot – I’m not entirely sure.  What I do know is that I wasted my energy, ingredients (all that good butter, saffron, etc!), and made a fresh huge mess of the kitchen.  My body ached from the work & I had nothing but a big slimeball of non-edible-dough to show for it.  I was REALLY cranky about the whole thing.  I’m not a confident baker to begin with, so this not a good task for me to try. 

Last night I decided to make a huge batch of soup.  That way we’d have something to eat for dinner and I could bag/freeze the rest.  Only, I’d assumed that I had all the ingredients on hand.  Big mistake.  3/4 thru the soup making process, I discovered I had only 2 small cans of tomatoes – which isn’t enough for one batch of soup.  And I was in the middle of making 3 batches.  Grrrr.  I waited for it to cool & put the entire thing in the fridge.  TBU ran to Costco today & picked up a flat of diced tomatoes for me.  Tomorrow morning I will triage the soup (before I get too tired to breathe) and then I will freeze 2/3 of it.

I know I’d hoped to get my freezer organized and filled before these babies are born.  Maybe that ship has already sailed.  I hate to admit that, but it could be true.  I have a cooking date with a friend in early January.  That might be the only way real substantial cooking actually take place.

I know that I doubted my need to allow another church friend help me keep my house clean.  I think I’m seeing the error of my pride.  Just a few short weeks after she pressed her services on me.  I now understand just how hard these task are becoming & how tired I truly am.  I just can’t do it by myself.  And trust me, my hubby has already taken over many of the everyday chores: dishwasher, laundry folding, etc.

Our regular babysitter has offered to step in and help me more – even during the day (ah, the benefits of homeschooling!)  Maybe I need to seriously consider her offer. 

I am feeling my humanity now.  There’s only so much I can do.  My body just can’t take much more.  I fear the next few months.  I really do.  I don’t want to wind up on bedrest or worse…in the hospital.  It is hard for me to admit that with 3 months to go, I’m getting my @ss kicked.

OK, so it’s been a few hours since I wrote all of that…I had to put the boys to bed. 

In the meantime, TBU has come home from his concert & brought me something to eat.  We sat down (me in the above mentioned corner of the couch) to watch something off of the DVR and eat.  About halfway thru dinner, I realized I was going to throw up.  I was not only wrapped in a blanket with a volatile plate of food in my lap, but I was trapped in the center of the couch trying not to puke…yelling "I need help!  Now!" at TBU, who had no idea what the hell wasgoing on with me.  

I ran to the bathroom and immediately lost it into the sink.  While TBU ran upstairs to collect my favored green sand bucket (which hasn’t been used in quite awhile).  And he actually volunteered to clean out the sink for me.  Brave, brave man.  I refused his kind offer…that would just be expecting far too much out of anyone.

Yes, yes.  Another fine day for mama.

The thing is…I feel pretty good now.  I finished my dinner and everything.  I’m just afraid of getting trapped in my couch again.

The temp is supposed to drop sharply tonight/tomorrow.  I imagine it’ll be nasty outside tomorrow.  Which means the boys and I will be trapped in the house all day.  Wish us luck. 

5 Things That Make Me Happy:

1. TBU made me the kind of offer that you don’t get very often in life.  He loves me.  He really loves me.
2. Route 44 cranberry limeade
3. The number of Christmas presents that have arrived on our doorstep, that I feared wouldn’t arrive in time for us to give away!
4. Good stuff on our DVR
5. Knowing that I have a meeting on Friday…I will be stepping down once and for all from this auction.