beleive me I have googled this

hey everyone

GOD knows this is not how I wanted to start writing and this is not the kind of topics I wanted to write about espicially here . but I need to spell it out somewhere and sadly it’s gonna be here.

How can you study something you hate, not only because studying in general sucks but because it reminds you of a time when you were broken and felt like a nobody? It’s true it’s just a phase and I have to do this and if it all works out I’m gonna have a job,a job where hopefully studying isn’t gonna be a part of it (well it’s a teaching job so studying is still gonna be a part of it).

GOD wouldn’t be a great thing if there is a time machine,and I can just go back in time and change so many dumb decisions, dumb decisions that could’ve been avoided if I took time to think about where my life was going but I was too scared of been judged and blamed if things went wrong but here I am googling about balck holes and time traveling, and that ladies and gentlemen is how much I really don’t want to study for the vegetal biology exam.

it’s only now that I am seeing things clearly,what should’ve been done, I can’t help it but to think how things could’ve been different if I picked another major six years ago,if I had the courage and the discipline to start all over again,and try a new thing, OMG you have no idea how many times I read that quote that saids that stupidity is doing the same thing expecting different results ,and it never crossed my mind that it wasn’t HOW I study that needed a change but WHAT I studied.

anyway, I feel like storming the hallways of highschools and tell students to take risks when it comes to their studies,don’t feel like you have to pick something and stay with it forever if it doesn’t feel right, no matter how disappointing  or frightning it seems for the moment it will be even more horrifying when you get older and realize it was a make mistakes while you still young.

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April 8, 2019

I can certainly understand not wanting to study for a Biology exam 🙂

Oh, there have been so many times in my life when I have wished for a time machine!

April 8, 2019

@thediarymaster I’m glad someone knows how I feel!

April 8, 2019

I would have finished my Masters and my PhD years and years ago… it would have put me on a whole different path. BUT it would have deprived me of my sons. They would have been different people or not born at all. Life always allows for change. I’d seriously not change anything in my past. I like where I am today

April 8, 2019

@snarkle I understand but it’s eally hard to think about like that when you keep asking why things happen the way they doesn’t make sense ,at least not in the moment.but hopefully all of this will make sense someday.and thank you for taking time to answer  on my entry.

April 8, 2019

@theconfusedgirl Just trust that it will make sense.