boring vacation….

So back to work tomorrow after two and a half weeks off.  Feels like one of the mosted wasted vacations I’ve ever had.  Great.

E-mailed the wife today.  Deosn’t want to talk about anything but if I miss her.  It’s an honest question, but, I don’t miss the bullshit.  Maybe I’m just being stupid over it and avoiding the question.  My answer has been that I don’t miss the bullshit, bullshit being someone who doesn’t forgive, says I’m worthless, nothing good has come from me, and that I constantly "owe" her.  So, if these are her traits that she is going to display for now and forever, then it is a resoudning NO that I don’t miss her.  I"m not sure if that’s what she wants to hear or what I want to say, but that’s how I feel.

I guess I want to get this whole life thing sorted out again.  I thought maybe I had a grasp on it, but now I don’t feel I do.  Nothing seems to make me happy, I don’t do anything I love, I just trudge on from day to day.  HOw do  you find something that makes you happy?  I don’t get ti.  I can’ get lost in anything.  I buy shit all the time in an attempt to get a hobby and nothing comes of it.  Seems so stupid.