Blood Boiling

I really need to be more careful about allowing things to get to me.  I haven’t been in years past and in my youth I would always joke that “I will die because of my heart… ”  Now, a little older slightly wiser, I’m taking steps to get my quick temper and blood pressure under control.   I meditate, every evening before bed, living in a legal state I’ve gotten my medical card and use that to relax, calm nerves, ‘chill’ out, and I take martial arts.   I try to speak in even control tones and get my message across without becoming too passionate or amped up by the situation.   But occasionally…

 

I received a ticket in my queue this week for a user (nothing abnormal.)  User has 2 devices, since I started here a little less than a year ago, I’ve been trying to get everyone to agree to come down to a single device, using cloud storage for data security and a single device per user for ease of access.  But some people are legacy employees or feel a sense of entitlement and self importance for having multiple machines.  This woman, who we’ll call Dawn, because that’s her name, was pleasant enough, if a little confused by the ways of the computer world.  I put on my kid gloves and tried my best to get her down to one device, since she already had a working one.  But when the dice on that roll didn’t bounce in my favor, I told her it was fine, we’d provision a new laptop for her (same make and model) and get that shipped out to her as soon as we could.  She mentioned she was going to be in North Carolina for a memorial, fine none of my business I don’t usually like to engage in people’s personal lives, I recognize everyone has one, but in my role It’s not my position to play therapist, I don’t want to be people’s contact when their lives hit the fan, I’m just here to collect a check and ensure the network and machines on it work correctly.   Since she was out, she’d left the device with her manager, SP.  SP is going to be her name, because I’m going to say some terrible things about this waste of human garbage and I’m giving her the courtesy of anonymity which is likely more than she deserves.    This ticket came in from the user’s manager SP on April 30th

 

Dawn is unable to log in to (various programs) -. She will be leaving here to work from home if we are unable to help her this morning. She is out for the rest of the week also. Please advise on timing.

 

So now I know I  have an issue, I make arrangements and begin building  up the replacement device.  I inform the user and her manager (SP) that I’ll need the old device which manager (SP) has, in order to do data recovery and put the user’s old data on the new device. I’ve already spoken to the user at this point and determined that I was going to need to do everything on this ticket so that the user didn’t have a panic attack when she got the new device.

 

I get the following message in the ticket from the Senior VP of technology on Tuesday May 1st –

 

Dawn will be returning to work on Monday. This machine or a replacement must be back in their office no later than Friday.

 

So now I have a week to get the old laptop, complete the build of the new device and ship it back to the user’s office.  No problem, that’s plenty of time for turn around, I think.  The best laid plans though..

 

I begin messaging the user, and her manager (SP) for things like timing on the laptop drop off, user credentials the basics.  During the course of this, I engage with Dawn, and she’s very helpful if a bit uneducated in computer talk, While SP is no where to be found.

 

Here Dawn and I speak and I begin organizing what I need to assist her, it goes pleasantly. But this is about where shit goes south.  I come to understand that SP has the old laptop, since Dawn is out of town, and I’ll need the old device to get data recovered on it and ship her the new device.  As you may notice these correspondences have now brought us to the due date.  While the new machine is built and ready to go out, I can not in good conscious send the device without doing data recovery on the old one, I know that Dawn will have trouble with that,  and I’m fairly confident that if I don’t receive the old device it will get ‘lost’.
I’m now flabbergasted.  It was the due date, and this user SP, had taken the laptop I needed to a location other than where I was, but not only that, she’d apparently dropped it off at the offices of someone who doesn’t work for our company, I’m not sure at this point, what her plan was.  So doing my best to CYA – I write notes in the ticket –

May 9 2018

2:22 PM
Brian 
NOTE
 

Save the data recovery, this laptop is ready to be sent to the user – 

The old machine was mistakenly brought to another branch, and is hopefully being recovered by the user, or SP. Honestly it’s kind of a mess.

The laptop itself is ready to go and just needs the data from the old (currently unaccounted for) device. Then the laptop can be sent to the user.

 

 

It is now, yesterday – May 9th, 2 days since when the SVP asked that I  have the new device in the hands of the user.  I message SP again, trying to figure out what is happening with the following –

 

May 10 2018

9:28 AM
 
Brian
To SP

hello – 

I’m trying to follow up on the location of this laptop? Has there been any movement or news? is there a tracking number if it was shipped? Do we know who has possession of the device at this point?

 

 

Shortly after sending this message SP calls me directly rather than respond to the email.  She explains that she was late for a flight on Friday and did not have time to bring the device the extra 20 minutes to the corporate office,  So she left it in the care of a friend who does not work with us, at her company, not our branch or affiliated with our company and her expectation was that someone “Would send ‘one of us’ to go and retrieve it.”  I explained to her, through gritted teeth, that was not going to happen.  We do not expend our resources to go and collect a single laptop from a location she decided to leave the device.  She became irate, and used the standard user threat “Well I’ll just talk to Chris (SVP and the bosses boss)  and see what he says,” she said smugly.  I told her she could do as she saw fit but we were not going to travel to retrieve a device that should have been brought to corporate.   I’m not sure what she said to Chris, but I haven’t heard anything about it – though she did IM me a few moments later and the following took place –

 

[‎5/‎10/‎2018 10:11 AM]  SP: 

How about you send me a UPS label and I can ask her she would ship it -however I did not have a box or anything to ship it so you may need to send her that too.

 

[‎5/‎10/‎2018 10:30 AM] B:

May I have the address for the location you left the asset and the name of the individual who is now responsible for it?   I’ll ship them a box/packing equipment/ and a return label.   for return shipping to corporate, where I will perform the data transfer for Dawn, and then ship the new device to her per the original issue.

 

 

[‎5/‎10/‎2018 10:32 AM]  S P: 

(address, user’s name)

 

[‎5/‎10/‎2018 10:57 AM] B:

May I have contact information for (person who has the device) and know the business they work for? I’ll need it for the shipping label.

 

[‎5/‎10/‎2018 10:58 AM]  SP: 

It is a title company. Her office can be looked up online or I can look it up for you when I get off my call.

 

[‎5/‎10/‎2018 10:58 AM] B:

is it ____title?

 

[‎5/‎10/‎2018 10:58 AM]  SP: 

yes

 

[‎5/‎10/‎2018 11:03 AM] B:

OK – I’ll just need contact information for (the person) so I can confirm their location, reception of the device and return and keep them informed.  I can use a phone number + email please, as soon as you are able to provide that information. 

 

[‎5/‎10/‎2018 11:10 AM]  SP: 

(finally the information I need)

 

[‎5/‎10/‎2018 12:02 PM]  SP: 

i spoke to (the user) and she will have it couriered to you.

 

 

I wish I could say that was the end of it.  But when the courier arrived and I finally received the laptop today at 2p.m. I found a sticky note on the outside of the device that contained the user’s log in and password information affixed to the device.   I think my jaw hit the floor.   I’m currently waiting to go talk to the SVP of Technology Chris, to see if SP can be enrolled in some kind of training program pertaining to network security..

 

 

 

EDIT –

 

After speaking with Chris, the woman in this story (SP) is in all kinds of trouble, she’ll have a talking to by Chris and be enrolled in mandatory training for data security and compliance.

 

WOOT.

 

 

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