A ‘Brief’ History of Timmy, Part VIII

I wanted Angel back. Of course, anything involving me and Angel dating more would have involved some sort of communication. Fat chance. That Friday, Uncle Jim was getting married. (He had divorced Dorrie two or so years earlier.) I was the cameraman. By the end of the night, I felt sick. There was a lot of good food, but I wasn’t hungry at all. My mom and dad fell ill with something, but being the kid, I drove us home. The mysterious illness kept me out of school for a week. (though the following week only had three days due to teacher shit on Thursday and Friday) People thought I had killed myself. Away from school, and with strength zapped, I had only one thing on my mind: Her. I remember playing Chrono Trigger a lot. I had some bloodwork done. It was later determined that I had an enlarged liver. What the fuck?

I returned to school, and.. someone had interest in Angel. His name was Josh. By Tuesday, I knew they were official. Turn the knife. It had been little more than two weeks after she had dumped me. In a last-ditch effort, I put all my feelings into a note and gave it to her. My way of getting closure, I guess. Oh, I still wanted her, but the possibility slowly faded away.

I still sat at the same table with her. Why? Fuck if I know. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. Eventually, Joe, bless the bastard, kicked me out of the table. Sort of. *laughs* See, Ziggy had been kicked out of his table. So. For the duration of the year, I would sit with Ziggy. He dissed Angel for me. I never had anything bad to say. I’m not a vengeful person. I was bent on not being the type of person that turned one little heartache into scornfulness against an entire gender.

I tried distracted myself with other girls. Worked, to a limited degree. I remember wanting to GOTO Snowland in December. That never happened. I started my fourth journal around this time. As would be the trend for the rest of Junior Year, any girl that talked to me, I would think she had interest in me. Took a bit to get over that one. There was Jen and Lauren. There was Tina, who seemed almost available, now that Lou was expelled. (No joke.) There was Laura. She flirted with me. I flirted back.

Last day of school before Christmas, I actually got cards from Jen and Tina, a first for me. Token gestures, they might have been, they really boosted my mood going into break. Christmas came and went. December 25. I was reminded of the day I asked Angel out. December 29. I was reminded of the day Angel dumped me. New Year’s Eve, I went over all the change that had happened in under a year.

I returned to school. I think on the Wednesday back, Laura and I were flirting heavily, on the bus. We had this specific routine we went through. At the end of it, I gently bit her finger. *smiles* Walking home, Shannon asked me if I liked Laura. I remember saying, “Is it that obvious?” Shannon lived RIGHT BY ME, but we never were real friends or anything. Well. She was still dating Steve Pederson. He asked her out September 24th. *chuckles* Shannon spazzed out on a few occasions, and I was there to console her. Classical nice guy slash friend.

The next day, before getting on the bus, Laura asked me out. I said yes. On the bus, I wondered if she was serious. We saw a movie on Saturday, and she dumped me on Monday. I should never have bothered with her, she’s notorious to having dated.. tons of people. *laughs* At least I learned not to base a relationship on flirting. Well, maybe.

There was a snowstorm on January 25th. I was outside shoveling snow, and loving every moment of it. For the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely happy. While the curse of Angel would still linger over me, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel.

I remember rambling my head off to Ziggy every day. Poor kid. We sat right by the vending machine, my back to the wall. From one angle, with me out of view because of the vending machines, it looked like Ziggy was talking to the wall. Ziggy had gotten his license that month and… We did stuff? We watched DVDs at his house. I was introduced to a strange game called “Smash Brothers.” Epic battles would take place, with me as Kirby, Ziggy as Pikachu, and Arizona as Link. (Arizona wasn’t in Arizona yet, of course.) Arizona didn’t like fighting humans, so we’d usually kick the shit out of the computer. Or have me play Ziggy. He’d always beat me, but his beatings toughed me up.

Shannon’s relationship with Steve ended, and she started starving herself, ending up in the hospital, at one point. (Bad intro, but whatever.) I talked to Shannon more. Um. And flirted with her. I never said I had good taste in girls. Of course, I could never just come out and say that I liked her. That would be too mature. The situation dragged out. I knew she liked me, but I just couldn’t bring myself to asking her out. Eventually, a mutual friend did the communication for us. I asked her out. She said yes. Around this time, I started my fifth journal.

By now, Princess and I were aware of each other’s presence. We were in the same Chemistry Honors class. (I was in that class after getting straight A’s in regular Biology.) Everybody in chemistry had the same gym class. (Every monday, we’d have lab.)

Gym. I remember playing floor hockey. What position did I play? Goalie. Mostly because nobody else wanted to do it. And.. I got good at it. I know hockey. I know the concept of staying square to the puck. I know the basics of the butterfly. Oh, and our school didn’t have leg pads. Go figure. I also remember volleyball. I’d be on a team of girls and basically do whatever they wanted me to do. I don’t think I got really good until Senior Year, but whatever. Then there was .. walking around the track. It was like a deathmatch. SLAVERY!!!

Shannon and I were together for about three weeks. She dumped me by having a friend tell me, while walking around the track. How nice. I didn’t cry, like I did over Angel. It hurt, but not as much. Know what she gave me? She wanted to be my friend. Thanks a pantsful. In a way, I think the reason she dumped me is because I didn’t make a move on her. It didn’t feel right. I’m so glad I never kissed her.

And even though she dumped me, she continued to flirt with me. Even though she made it clear she liked someone else, she flirted with me. Even though she was going with him to his senior prom, she flirted with me. Even though they were officially “going out”, she flirted with me. Hope is a dangerous thing. I was bent on getting her back. I thought I had “given up too easily” on Angel. One time, Princess and I were walking around the track by ourselves. She pointed out that I shouldn’t flirt with her. I tried to explain that I couldn’t help myself.

I had bought the tickets to the Junior Prom just before she told me she was dating him. Oh, his name was Jon. Whoop de do.

(Princess is on the far left)

I saw Prom as a last-ditch way to “get her back”. Silly me. She ended up sulking because she missed Steve, her ex. Me, I discovered I could DANCE.