Nothing.

Status Report

Wearing: Not a damn thing. It’s Naked Friday.

WinAmp is playing: Come As Your Are – Nirvana

Last ate: Two burgers. Really juicy and really good. I think Lori would have liked them.

Last round of masturbation: Four nights ago.

Entry Start Time: 7:57 PM

Based on Esther’s “Senses”.

I shouldn’t be in the mood I’m in. Nothing’s happened!

So once upon a time, there was a bunny named Danny. Danny had no life.

I feel like I need to do something, but I’m not sure what. Hmm. Maybe I pick something random which I’ve thought about and actually do it.

I know a few hours ago, I really wanted to return all those. Not now, I really don’t want to. Even the ones from Kelly. I already know what I’ll say.

I played Nintendo. I’m amused, my Super Nintendo died before my NES. I played Faxanadu. Well, I didn’t feel like playing through the game (I’ve beaten it before, great game), so I got a code online. Ran around killing things. I think I played uhhh. Was it just Kirby after that? No, Battletoads. I’ve played that in the arcade. *smirks* Princess loves Battletoads, or so she claims.

I feel like crying, but I’m not sure why. How random.

I love Kirby. I should .. YES, I have an emulator. Shawn, my ex-neighbor gave me over a hundred megs of ROMs. Hacks of hacks of hacks. And the originals, of course. *smirks* Lori remembers that hacked version of Dragon Warrior I made her play. Dragon Pervert. *smiles* Back in the day, I could have made a really cool perverted game. But, nowadays, you just rely on polygons to created THE ROUNDEST BOOBIES POSSIBLE. What was it I said in Toys`R`Us?

“I’ll never have any in new consoles. Oh, look at that..”

Mmm. Polygons are visually appealing, but real boobies will always rule the world. Yeah, watching over that great big Vagina in the sky. It would be cool if I could make statues of Vaginas. Yeah. If I had a house and had Vagina statues and random boobies everywhere. EXTREME .. SOMETHING EXTREME.

I want my sex drive to return. I’ve been not masturbating simply because MY PENIS IS ABOUT TO FALL OFF. Blah. I’m too young to lose my sex drive. By the time I’m ready to lose my virginity, my penis will have fallen off already. Damn you, phallus, you must erect this situation!

I’m sure this might be amusing, but I’m not laughing at all for some reason.

I’ve concluded that I could do stand-up comedy if I got drunk enough. I was going over some material in my head. What would I talk about and stuff. I’d talk about things I’m passionate about. Like circumcision. I’d be like, “You know, some intact guys sometimes have a little too much skin. And so they want a little bit cut off. But, not a full circumcision, cuz you know, they love that full-skinned masturbation. Going to get circumcised is like going to get a haircut. You can say “Yeah uh, a little off the top.” but when you look in the mirror you’ll go “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I said half an inch!” And they’ll always say something like, “Half an inch, inch, what’s the difference? It’ll grow back!”

Yeah. I want to grow my foreskin back. Blow some money. See what happens. No surgery. After plugging shit into google, I’ve decided to blow money on the product sold at this site: http://www.tugahoy.com Worth a shot. The best 21st birthday present I could ever give myself would be a brand new penis. This one’s getting OLD.. er. (“Makes it sound like it might last a little longer!” – Carlin)

I might not have a roommate next semester. I’m not kidding. I got the thing telling me who my roommate will be. My last roommate, who I don’t think I’ve ever named one way or another on OD… He signed back with me last March. (Or was it April.) Well. he told, after the semester was over, that he probably isn’t going back to Rutgers. And. The housing thing says he’s my roommate. *laughs* I’m hoping housing will bless me again with no roommate.

It’s Naked Friday, I’m naked writing an entry, and I’m not perky. WHY AREN’T I PERKY. I wanna be perky. I considered going out on a cursing rampage, but I just didn’t have it in me. I’m not good at random cursing. Fuck dildo cuntmaster cock. Eh, that wasn’t all that good. Cuntmaster. Asswench. Dildodong. That’s like saying dickcock. Cuntpussy. Assrectum. You assrectum!

Even with my sex drive down, cunnilingus sounds very appealing.

I have this random urge to go on a blocking spree. *smirks* I’ve never looked into the feature, but is there a way to allow diaries while blocking everybody else? I wouldn’t know. Yeah, there are reader passwords. But, those are like BIGGAYDAN trying to see his INSANELYHOTGIRLFRIEND. Did anybody even get what I meant by that? Nevermind.

I have this habit of starting things and never finishing them. I can’t say it’s a lack of will. I wrote my life story in three days, over 14 entries. That was fun. I was into it. I did it in one shot. … The 300th Entry Spectacular. Aren’t I over fucking 500? Yeah. The 500th entry will be knocked off the front page with this one.

Oh. And blocking for no reason. Just to piss people off. Uh. I don’t know people well enough to piss people off. I should be more boring, I can’t handle all these notes. But then if I don’t get enough, I’ll think nobody loves me. *smirks* Notes determine penis size, as we all know. We all know SK has the biggest wang on this god damned site.

Oh yes, God Bless America. Because God doesn’t bless any other place EXCEPT HERE. YOU HEAR THAT. YOU’RE ALL GOING TO FUCKING HELL BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT IN AMERICA.

Uhhh. *ahem* Don’t know where that came from.

*slinks away from random outburst*

I might just not use my CD player in the winter. I found out a long time ago that batteries recharge if you let them sit in the sun. Like, on your dashboard. *smiles* They’ll be dead in the morning. Leave them on the dashboard. Come back when your car is hot as hell because that evil hydrogen-helium reaction in the sky is beating down photons of energy at our gas-powered locomotives. Whether it’s the heat or the sun, somehow, energy gets back in the batteries and they’re given new life. LIFE, I SAY!

*blinks* I just had the random mental image of going up to someone, whipping out my cock and smacking them in the face. “Hi.” *whips out cock and smacks stranger in the face*

Maybe I should do something new. I have two games my mom gave me a while ago because they wouldn’t run on that old computer she has. I’m.. not in the mood. Thing is, when I get into new games, I get obsessed. If I start a new game, I’m not doing anything else for a couple DAYS.

Boobies. I love boobies. I LOVE BOOBIES.

Yeah. I love cunnilingus. Why am I single? I’ll give face! Well. I do need someone to train me in the art of cunnilingus. Maybe. Though, as they say, you adapt to each women. *nods* Every girl is different.

Every Vagina is special.

…

*blinks*

Why didn’t I think of parodying that before?