Rutgers Rut, Part I

I sat there on the couch, twirling my Fedora. Oh, how I’ve missed that hat. It’s more than keeping the snow/rain off my eyes/glasses. It’s how it keeps the sun out of my eyes when it’s directly overhead. It’s how I think the elastic in my fuzzy-topped hat is wearing out, and it smells funny. Except after I’ve been wearing it post-shower, then it smells like my conditioner. (In a good way.) I sat there listening to the utter silence of everything around me.

I always forget how utterly boring it is here.

I think my ears are tuned to the sound of Lisa Electron in my dorm room. It’s a comforting noise to me, as I’m falling asleep. She’s not loud – the fridge is easily many times louder than her. But I hear her. And during those rare times I turn Lisa Electron off, I feel so alone. I realize that I have nothing. Nothing to do, nobody to see.

I thought of how society has “progressed”. Hell, I thought of how I managed to amuse myself during my childhood without being a heavy reader. Absorbing ourselves in other worlds seems to be a great way to escape reality and turn off the brain. Well. Maybe not turn off the brain, in relation to books. TV and movies definitely are passive entertainment. I sat there, feeling alone despite my sister across from me, and my mom sitting here at her computer. It’s quite amazing how Lisa Electron manages to keep my mind active, one way or another. Sometimes it degrades to simple, “I love breasts in my mouth!” but hell, I remember so many times when I was young when I’d just sit on the couch and think about nothing.

I can only tolerate such blankness when I’m in transit. When I’m the passenger, I don’t really care how long it takes to reach the destination. I used to fall asleep a lot in the car. It relaxes me. No, I don’t fall asleep when I’m driving. It’s different when you’re in control. But when you’re a passenger, the vibrations of the van used to calm me completely. Circle the block, I don’t feel like getting up, I’d think to myself.

I watched this low-key indie movie, “Whatever” with Wendi. Hey, she was there. I’ve seen it once before, about four years ago. All I remembered from it was that this one guy was a premature ejaculator. And the main character had large breasts1. No, you don’t see her nipples, just her bra. But you can tell from the bra that she’s probably a D cup. She hides them quite well (kind of the way Elena did) by wearing baggy clothes. I remembered the movie as it progressed along. Well. I completely forgot that she ends up nakie on the beach, at the end of the movie. Anyway, I picked the movie because I figured it would fit my mood. I’d say it did.

I had some spiral (mac and cheese). I put it IN MY MOUTH. It was yummy.

Being here always changes my mindset. Surroundings alter how we act, I suppose. Well. Maybe not how we act, but certainly how we feel. It amuses me how movies depict people doing things. Imagine for a moment if High School was ANYTHING like the way it is on TV or in movies. Damn, I was so disappointed at the lack of violence in my High School! *laughs* Yet, I think, “There have to be people who do those risky things, pay the price, and move on in life.” I’m a very low-risk person, sadly. Always afraid of consequences. Part of the reason I’m at Rutgers in the first place. The longer I stay at Rutgers, the deeper that rut of mine is going to get.

Speaking of that rut… Well, first I’ll gloss over the van issue. Remember how I said I was afraid of applying too much gas? My dad put it in reverse. Lurch. He put it in drive, and it seemed to break free. After driving around the parking lot. Well, more like rolling. We heard this rather disturbing noise from the back of the van. We concluded that it has something to do with the rear brakes2. I had no idea the rear wheels HAD brakes. How the hell can some pedal in the front control two wheels WWAAYY in the back? DOES NOT COMPUTE. My dad took me back here with his car. I might just start calling his car The Last Durahan3.

Shut up, part of the reason I remember that is because my sister pointed them out. (When I watched it four years ago.) It’s just easier to remember something like that when your sister says, “Wow, she has huge tits.” The friend I was watching it with chuckled and said something about how cool my sister is.
I have a theory. When I was driving in, last month, it was during a hellish snowstorm. Crawling 40 on 287. Coming to make the turn into the parking lot, I could feel that if I had continued to turn the wheel, I would have spun out. I could feel it. So I kept going straight and circled the block for another pass. Came to a near-hault before making the turn. Fuck the people behind me. Now, I have this habit when I park. Press down on brake. Press down on parking brake. Put in park. Turn off lights all the way. Turn off van. Release foot from brake. Now, in short, .. I think the rear brakes got frozen to the wheels. It’s the only thing that made sense. I was parked on a sheet of ice/snow/slush. Thankfully, my parking job was great, and I never had to move it. *laughs* So um. Yeah.
In Monster Rancher 4, there’s only one really useful species: Durahans. (Knights, I mean.) We’d always have one Durahan per generation. Once, I had an entire ranch of Durahans. ..And the last one had to defend the next generation. And thus. THE LAST DURAHAN. *laughs* Nevermind, nobody got that.