Startling Conclusions! (Well, maybe not) Part III

So, under either scheme, the result is the same. In both schemes, there are possible alternatives I can make. (The Determinist might argue that there are no alternatives as there is only one way we can live our lives. But, nevermind that for the moment.) I also realize it is a misnomer to conclude that Free Will is Determinism. If A->C and B->C, it is not logically implied that A=B. But, whatever.

So the question becomes choice. And, somehow, something Kivudet said made some sense. If you believe you have, choice, then you have choice. If you do not believe you do not have choice, then you don’t have choice. If you think it’s impossible for you to be President, then you will not be President. If I think it’s possible for me to be President, then I will be closer to being President than the person that denies all hope. (Not to say that it’s a guarentee that I’ll be President. Come on, can YOU see me as President?) If you believe you are smart, then you will act smart, more or less. If you believe you are lazy, like I do, you will act lazy. And I don’t mean just saying “I’m going to be a good student”, I mean genuinely believing that you’re not lazy.

I remember when I first imagined writing my so-called Memoirs (as Sweaty Stallion nicknamed them), I imagined it being some sort of How To Live Your Life handbook. Simple rules for life. And, for a good while, that was how I lived. Trying to generalize the world into reliable rules, so I could predict the future. To make life easier. To be a better person. However, enough time has passed that I know that this isn’t how I operate anymore. I seem to try to find rules not so I can live by them, but so I can ignore them. “What, we’re not supposed to do x? Okay, I’ll be sure to completely ignore that in the future.”

The concept of the Tao seemed like a wonderful concept to me when I first learned about it. The implementation of the typical Taoist does seem a little bizarre to me. In short, our Tao is simply our inborn gifts and talents. There are things I can do which nobody else can do quite like me. Formal education is seen almost like a poison to the Tao. Wait, why was I introducing this? Let me back up a little.

(I was going to say something about Zen Buddhism, but then I realized that I barely remember anything about Eastern Religions.) It seems to me that meditating to rid your mind of the senses and all thought misses the point. It seems almost like ignorance. Just assuming that the world around you doesn’t exist. Sorry, after you come back from “enlightenment”, you still have to live your life.

I seek a different goal, I suppose. I’ve thought for a while that it made more sense not to clear your mind, but to fill your mind with thought. wait, back up again. I’m absolutely lost in my own thoughts.

Choice. Yes, I believe that was going to be my point, somehow. Choice is only choice if you think about it. If I wanted to, I could put a pic of my bum wiggling at the end of this entry. And I believe a number of you just got scared, because you KNOW I’ve done it before. Now, before I started thinking about this, was it a choice? Not really. Is it a choice now? I’d dare say yes. It’s a choice because I recognize it as such. I could get up and pee now. Choice. “Will I or won’t I?”

We tend to think that choice makes a huge impact on our lives. But, does it? Is your life different because you ate something different for dinner? No, it isn’t. (Well, assuming the food doesn’t make you sick. But even then, you remain the same, even if your life hasn’t.) If I called up The Minor right now, would life be that different? Only if it causes something else to happen. Ah, now I’ve said something different, for once. There are plenty of things we do in life which don’t have meaningful causal chains. The moving of that damn fork doesn’t mean anything in the long run. Who voted for whom in that election where Hitler was voted into office definitely matters. Though, even then, while lives may have changed, people wouldn’t have.

I have a tendency to have an adversion to the silliest things. I always get some tinge of nervousness, no matter how small, before calling a girl I like unannounced. I hate talking to professors. I hate asking for help. I hate going into administrative areas and… asking for things? I can write all I want about the trivial nature of fear, it still won’t change the fact that it exists. I find that if I believe I can call a girl, I can. If I feel like I can, then I can. If I think, “I can’t do this”, chances are, I won’t. We all know our own nature better than anybody else. Personally, I’d like to eliminate such dumbass moments, as they tend to be counterproductive. As I said earlier, finding rules and ignoring them. “I can not talk to authority figures.” Fuck what I think I’m capable of. If I wanted to, I could learn deep throat! :: emits Aura::

Free me from preconceptions. We are born blank slates. Life happens. We react, at first unaware of what we’re doing. As we grow older, we become aware of how we react. I think it’s important to question these reactions. We are taught so many falacies in our lives. There is no boogie-man. There is no Santa Claus. Eggs are good. Eggs are bad. “What? They have bigger dicks? Bomb them!!”

I seek to understand how the world supposedly works so I can look past it. Physics? Fuck physics. There was a time when we thought all things fell at a constant speed everywhere. After we went to the moon and confirmed some theories, we were comfortable in assuming the laws of gravitation held. Fuck science. We could just as easily discover it’s something else.

I’m not sure whether it looks like I’m tending toward an objective view of the world. But, I’d like to state that it isn’t my goal. Objectivity overlooks one critical thing: TimmyTM. More specifically, the fact that I am TimmyTM. If I were truely being objective, what happens to me wouldn’t matter. Because I wouldn’t recognize that I am Timmy. I hesitate to say I want a subjective view of the world, as it’s clear I want to free myself from misconceptions. I suppose it’s that I want to recognize my own nature and the nature of the world so I can give myself greater choice?

Maybe.

Those that think the society is more important than the individual miss the point. Also, those that think the individual is more important than the society miss the point. Individuals make up society. If society allows individuals to benefit, then society is benefitted. Sorry, something I had on my mind and I wasn’t sure where to put it.

It’s all rhetoric. I lost all hope of making a point a while ago. I’m usually pretty good at magically concluding without feeling like there’s more to say. As always, it doesn’t really matter. I live on. I find all my rhetoric tends not to really change my daily life. If it has, I haven’t noticed.