What is love?
(I’m still amused I managed to reserve this title for an entry befitting of the name. THANK YOU, SELF!)
Once you finally understand what love is, it makes sense. There’s no more scraping for some justification for every action. No justification for the why or the how or the who. I look back on the many times I tried capturing a glimpse of it. Love may have been a part of all those relationships, but trust, comfort, intimacy, and all those happy words are not love.
Love feels like quiet understanding to me. Love is not when someone else makes you feel OMGSOHAPPY. Love is not a list of reasons to love someone. Love is not giving yourself to someone. Love is not sex.
I used to idealize love, thinking it to be some perfectionist thing. Like the Omega Particle. Movies have raised us to believe Love conquers all, and if we can just have a peace of that Love, all the negatives in our life will disappear. Our partner will suddenly transform into someone who will fix us. It’s a fallacy to look for saviorhood in someone else. We are the ones that will ultimately give ourselves inner love and contentment. Love from other people merely complements that. And if you don’t love yourself, that outside love will not have much to complement; it will be something you desire so much but not something which will do much good for you.
Love is not wanting to change someone – but wanting them to change to fully bring out everything they can be. Love isn’t needing to be with someone. But certainly wanting to be around will happen. Love is not wanting to ride someone, nor is it the absence of that desire. Romancism and platonicism are one giant grey area.
Somehow, when I recognized I knew this, I changed. I’ve been exceedingly affectionate lately, have I not? And I like being affectionate. Being affectionate makes me happy. I care about a lot of people. I’m not longer hung up on “What do I mean by this?” I’m no longer hung up on some eternal theorization of love. Just because people come and go from your life doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make the most of them.
So why hold back? How many people in your life do YOU care about?
At least for me, the reason I held back in the past was because I didn’t feel fully comfortable expressing positive emotion. Expressing positive emotion made me feel vulnerable. It’s hard to love other people when you don’t love yourself. I guess I love myself now; I’m far more at peace now. But that was then. What’s your excuse?
Don’t think too hard. It really is quite simple. Love is.
It sounds like a death metal band to me. I’m clueless.
Warning Comment
Right on. I often feel like a big cheeseball when I tell people how much I value and care about them, but then I think about it, and I figure, what does it matter? I’d rather look like a fool for a few minutes and let you know I appreciate you than for you to always have to wonder about it. It’s sad how a lot of people seem to find it a weakness, and they’re embarrassed to express their love.
Warning Comment
as soon as i clicked over here and read your title all i could hear throughout the whole entry was: what is lovebaby don’t hurt medon’t hurt meno more
Warning Comment
“Love is not wanting to change someone – but wanting them to change to fully bring out everything they can be.” I hear that! I’m certainly learning all of these things too. I liked this entry. you rock. and i now have that song in my head too!
Warning Comment
I so agree I believe love is when you don’t need to ask yourself any question. You know that is love, purely and simply. When you don’t need to talk, silences speak beyond words, and when you do it sill is as magical. You are becoming the favorite of my favorites Timmy. 🙂 ryn: thank you for the link, I will read them.
Warning Comment
You nailed it awesomely. I luff you, Timmy!
Warning Comment
Love ya back, bro. ;D
Warning Comment
There was a song…… “What is love?” A funky little song in the 90s maybe? I used to dance to it. Totally forgot about it until I saw your title. LOVED that song. No pun intended.
Warning Comment
Yes! And……….yes! Oh, Timmy. All these times I have so much that I want to express but I can’t find the words. You seem to do it effortlessly! How? Do you ever sit at the computer for minutes at a time, staring at the screen, the keyboard…wanting to type words…but nothing comes? And like…poo on my previous desire for ‘daily recaps’, for stating of the facts. “Just the facts, ma’am.” >
Warning Comment
Well poo on that! *sigh* I now see my problem. I tend to get wrapped up in facts, in details, in exact happenings…and forget to focus on how I feel. I do too much questioning.
Warning Comment
I’m sorry I pestered you, Timmy.
Warning Comment
*snorts@ bourbon*
Warning Comment
Love is caring more than fairness requires. Timmy (Timothy, that is Timotheos) means “honoring God” in Greek.
Warning Comment