Intensity

Writing this after an almost 4 hour love making session after Nox was gone for almost 6 days.

The intensity. The sheer.. need to grasp and touch and breathe each other in. I love it. I love her.

We had an intense word salad conversation about my previous… Failures as it pertains to Voidy. I am happy I talked to my therapist about things back then. It’s an ongoing thing that I will need to continue to build my communication on and execute action plans on, but DARNIT I will not fail her any more.

Even if something happens and Voidy doesn’t work out, I want Nox and Voidy to be amazing together. But also I do want the three of us to work out.

Nox shared that she and Voidy had some racy exchanges while I was asleep and my heart started racing. I simultaneously felt joy and surprise at how forward Voidy was. I was telling Nox earlier that it is important that she and Voidy establish their own rhythm and such as it pertains to intimacy. And honestly if things ever get back to that point I should take it EXTRA slow and also avoid things that might change my thought like alcohol. I really thought their exchange was cute and sexy. I also appreciated Nox sharing with me.

Nox has stated that it is okay for me to say I love Voidy. I had been dancing around the language thus far as I didn’t want to say something wrong (again). But as usual all I had to do was work up the courage to ask and she assuages my thoughts. For now remember to check in with Nox if Voidy ever gets forward like that with me.

It helps to write these down. Maybe my heart will quiet soon.