When everything else ends….

…I begin….

Well I dunno what to say about my recent events…

I spent an entire night with Hazel. After over two and a half years she hasn’t changed in the slightest… She is still the most beautiful person I have ever met… she is perfection personified…

I tried to stay un-emotional all night but the minute I laid eyes upon her it all came back….. All the love and all the attachment… I wanted it to go away so we could be friends but it is as strong a as ever… I still love her and I don’t know what to do about it because she doesn’t want me anymore…

I’m an out-moded concept. There are so many cooler and more attractive people than me out there. I dunno how to handle this and I think it may destroy me.  I can’t handle it to be honest… all the love I feel… When she’s around everything feels so perfect and complete…

I’m so afraid of her that I cannot contemplate what I should do. She has such power over me that I cannot think nor effectively work my own body when she is around… It’s been so many years and still I feel like this… I really need help on this one…

I’m lost and even my darkness has abandoned me…