justifiable blogging (about K’s new haircut!)

I was reading my textbook on writing research proposals yesterday and I was delighted to find the suggestion that when writing a proposal, you should do some fun writing as a warmup before working on your research project.

yay!

the author gave examples of famous writers who did just that, writing a letter before beginning writing, and that sort of thing. lovely. I always wanted to start with a bit of blathering on about my life before getting to work, and it turns out that urge is actually good for me and my work. yay!

so, let’s see. what is going on.

K and I got haircuts yesterday. after K’s last disappointing haircut months ago, we both decided H should definitely not cut his hair again. No matter what he said, she’d do the same haircut. a super short, unattractive cut. and K would try to think the best of it.

The poor, dear man, he looks like he’s so stressed out while getting his haircut, and it turns out he’s worried about how it looks. I had to convince him that he doesnt have to go through weeks of his hair being too short and unattractive. that in fact, he’s paying for a haircut, he can actually like his haircut. seriously. his thinking was: get it over with, hate it for awhile, and it will grow out. and put off getting it cut again because it was so stressful in the first place.

so I helped him with what I’ve learned about hair dressers. his original plan was to say: “I want it easy, I dont want to have to put product in my hair, I want to be able to comb it and be done with it.”

I said, ok, your hairdresser is going to hear: I want it very short.

Here’s the thing: you dont want it very short. You want it longer on top, a bit shorter on the bottom. you dont want your bangs too short, but you also dont want them in your eyes. that is still easy and doesnt require hair product and you can still comb it and be done with it.

also, they always work better with a picture than words. so bring a picture of a hair style that is similar to your hair type to show them what you are thinking, then talk about the details that you like. point out the length on the top, how it’s cut neat around the ears, and straight in the back.

I’ve had to learn that the hard way. I thought, as many people do, that telling the hairdresser that I want it cut like last time would be sufficient. and that is true if the hairdresser has done your hair for a long time and knows you and understands you and remembers your hair style and all that. but once I said that to a hairdresser I had actually been going to for months and she chopped off my hair, did it nothing like the previous style, and I was not happy with it. I said it was fine, but I never went back to her. I thought she could see the previous haircut by looking at my hair now and cutting off an inch or so. apparently she couldnt. or she was distracted. I dont know. I hated it.

hairdressers are very visual, usually, so I’ve learned to start with a visual: a picture. then talk about the details in the picture so that they understand what I’m going for, what I see in the picture, and find out what they see in the picture. and I listen to them. most hair dressers will know if a style is right for your hair type. If they dont get your hair type, go to someone else.

I’ve known my hairdresser for a long time, and she also knows what I like and dont like. So now I can come in and say I just want a trim, we discuss how much of a trim my hair needs, and she’ll do a great job. if I bring in a picture and ask her what she thinks, she might remind me that I generally dont like my hair so blonde, that I like more golden highlights, and checks with me on what I really want. then we fine tune the plan for my hair. she also knows I like change, and she keeps notes on the color for my highlights and lowlights and what I have had done. that’s the mark of a good hairdresser. she asks a lot of questions, she discusses the details, she pays attention to what you want. and most importantly: she gives you exactly what you want.

so K’s last haircut by H was awful. super duper short and it didnt flatter him. he didnt like it, but just said it would grow out so it was ok. I was so upset over it.

he did some research on hairdressers in the area: read tons of reviews, looked up prices, and found out that my hairdresser charges the best price, and does the best job, too.

this time, he saw my hairdresser (who did his hair once before). he brought in pictures of Chase Crawford. we discussed with the hairdresser what we liked about it: longer on top, short on the bottom, trim around the ears and such.

She listened well, we discussed how long K wanted his bangs, how to do the hair right in front of the ears, we asked what she suggested, discussed how long he wanted it in the back, etc. she spent a lot of time cutting his hair, and made sure he was happy with it.

even though we both got our haircut, and I let her cut off a couple inches to get rid of split ends and such and give me a fresh new cut (so it’s a bit different), K and I cant stop talking about how much we love his hair style. he is so happy. and this is new for him. he just thought (very guyishly) that you have to hate your haircut for awhile. (his brother shaves his head for this reason). the whole idea of paying for a cut and liking it was something I had to convince him of after his last haircut. I had to point out he’s paying his hard earned money, he doesnt have to be tortured!

he was worried that if he got a cut that he liked, that he’d have to get his hair cut sooner. his thinking was this: put off haircut as long as possible, get it cut short, hate it, let it grow out rather long, get it cut super short again.

it was good to get him to say this thinking out loud. to discuss it with him. to suggest that maybe he doesnt have to hate it when he gets his hair cut. maybe he can actually like it. and it wouldnt mean he had to get his hair cut sooner. 6-8 weeks is the frequency for short hair cuts at the soonest. this was surprising to him.

and I can imagine his dread about getting his hair cut. especially if he hated it each time.

boys.

they grow up getting their hair cut badly, no wonder they hate it.

and K really cares about style and how he looks. so it was good to tap into that urge for him, and suggest it could also be true about his hair. eventually it sunk in. 🙂

so. now we are so happy, we cant stop saying how happy we are about his hair.

wow, I didnt expect to write just about K’s hair, but I did. hehe. see you next time.