aware of so much…

i am aware of so much.. emotions within.. surging.. a fire that burns so brightly that it sears.. volcanic proportions as they erupt.. sizzling as the tip of the tongue flicks out in testing.. tasting.. savoring..

i endeavor and strive, always, to reach that state of excellence.. for there is no such thing as perfection.. is aware of that.. however, there are… elements.. energies.. power..images.. that are perfect in their creation..

within me however and separate from that fire that rages, is a void.. wanton in its inability to speak to whisper.. riding on tumultuous waters.. causing me to crest before flowing forward in that gentle ebb..

there are these thoughts i have, wondering if perhaps this is a prelude to a certain agony.. or maybe a precursor a sweet, sweet torture.. i am both encouraged by this feeling and at a loss as to how to continue.. frustrated with this indecisiveness that keeps me immobile..

the mind continues to race with thoughts and images.. a dream? mayhaps.. a yearning i know.. wanting to experience that touch to flesh.. to hear that voice close to the ear.. the beating of the heart as my own moves in the same rhythm..

there is this anticipation now.. an excitement.. a longing, too.. and each time i let my thoughts drift in that direction, i find myself squirming.. a tidal wave of sensations rush within me, and i find myself gasping for air.. the tingling in the pit of the belly.. and i sigh..

for i hear the words spoken to me in my head.. that low voice.. rich, yet deep in timbre.. and i know they are true… and i wonder too.. will i ever be ready? will i know? or will i be told that i am?

is just a matter of time, isn’t it? aye.. i am aware of so much.. perhaps more than what others think…