#dissociation

Encapsulated in this electrifying battle of pain, joy, torment, love.. there is no calm. no silence yet i lay, still, hours pass, a day passes as if my body in all its entirety has simply died like a heavy weight bizarrely filled with the fire of a dragon, heart of a lover, stride of a…

Such melodramatic titles. I’m still hiding myself, sorry to repeat. My dark side just came out hard core 3 years ago and nearly fully blotted out everything good in me. And I’ve regained a lot of the good that was lost, but only by — muting parts of myself. It was the self hatred. It…

I don’t know how to speak beauty anymore. I don’t know how to feel my soul anymore, how to express...anything. I feel like a creaky machine, rusty and noisy and broken. I do not know where to start. How to get my words back, my voice back. I have random words. Pain. Ouch. Ah. I…