Inspiring Answers – Part 2

Okay, under control again. Moving along unedited, straight from the heart and top of my head, so if I ramble or am a grammar nightmare, let me be. *L*

2. Do you think there will ever be a cure or a real treatment for your epilepsy?

No. I don’t. Not for me and people like me. I think it will kill me before they find a cure/treatment. Sad, but true. There are a lot of epileptics that respond well to the current treatments out there (electric shock, partial lobotomies, medication cocktails, biofeedback, vagus nerve stimulation implants), but like most things in life, I have to be more difficult.

3. Why do you think you are so good at giving things to people but not receiving things in return?

Ahhh. I just KNEW you’d ask this. Okay, I really have given this a lot of thought. What I’ve finally settled on is this; I’m just not used to people doing kind things for me. I’ve never had anyone be kind to me without expecting something in return. When I receive things, in the back of my mind I instantly think, “Oh great…now what do they want from me?” I’m used to and love doing kind things for others unconditionally. When someone does something unexpected and kind for me it leaves me feeling instantly unworthy and undeserving because I grew up being repeatedly told I was ungrateful and undeserving. Also, I’ve never received anything really that I didn’t have to work my ass off for. When I worked my ass off for it, I knew I deserved it because I worked hard to get it. I’m just not used to people doing things for me or giving things to me. It makes me feel as if I’ve lost control somehow and am less self-sufficient. If I’ve learned anything in these 37-years of life and learned it well, it’s that I am self-sufficient. It makes living with me hard sometimes.

4. If I held a gun to Brian and said you had to pick ONE pet as your favorite, which would it be and why?

ACK! Ipsa! You? With a gun? HA! I’d say, “Shoot him!” Kidding! I am kidding. Okay…Gizmo. I didn’t even need to think about the answer to this one. Why? Gizmo is my little clown; he’s also my fiercest protector. But mostly because he makes me work to get his love. *LOL* All my other little ones will come simply if I call them and kiss me for hours on end. Not Gizmo. He comes if and only if he feels like it. If he doesn’t feel like it, he mouths back to me with a series of grumbling growls and woos, as if to say, “Yeah, right…not in the mood right now. Bite me.” He’s also the first one to know when I am going to have a seizure and lord help you if you try and get near me during the seizure. He sits on my chest, ears back, teeth bared ready to battle. This is not something he’s been taught either. It just comes naturally to him. So Gizmo…he’s my heart and soul. I love them all and would fight to the death to save them if they were in any harm, but Gizmo is extra special to me. Good questions. Now I shall post your note from the entry before this one, just because you sorta kinda wanted it to be posted: “I didn’t mean to make you upset, but I wanted to ask something more than the standard favorite color or food or where will you be in 5 years.

I love love love asking a deep question and getting a deep answer that really helps me see more of who you are as a person. And I really wish everyone else could see this note. [Ipsa]” No worries hon, it wasn’t you that made me upset. I really liked your questions. 😉

1. Your fave sex experience (or recurring one)?

My favorite sexual experience thus far had to be during my honeymoon in the

Florida Keys . At first I was going to say the time we were down in the Keys hopped up on ecstasy that night. But nope, the night after we dropped my inconsiderate, ungrateful best friend Kim back at

Fort Lauderdale airport (after taking her and her mom on the first 2 nights of our honeymoon with us). GAWD! I couldn’t wait to get rid of her. She was such a BITCH that weekend. Anyhoo…we dropped them off. Went to lunch and both decided we were going to drive back to the Keys to spend the rest of our honeymoon…ALONE. So we did. We stayed at this tacky little motel on the side of the road. We were just so happy to finally be alone and it was the first time I totally let all my inhibitions go and just did what felt good. Woot. Oh lawdie may the things that happened that night. I will only say he went where no man had gone before. *blushes* that’s ALL ahm saying.

2. Your ideal job?

My first ideal job would be to be a stay at home mom. Since that’s not going to happen on the alternative I’d own a small piece of land with 2 structures on it. One we lived in and the other would be turned into a combination rescue facility and doggy daycare. I would so love to just live the rest of my life working with kids and/or animals.

3. Your views on stem cell research?

Oh lord. Okay… most things I’ve read about stem cell research are not particularly useful, to me any way. Admittedly I might not understand stem cell research entirely. But what I have read doesn’t seem to deal with the fundamental belief that some people have that human personhood begins at conception. Similarly, articles by medical groups that promote stem cell research are not helpful, because they do not touch on their fundamental belief that embryos are not human persons. But, in my opinion, if there is to be any hope of resolving these issues, someone will have to debate when human personhood begins. If they can reach a near agreement on this, then abortion, in-vitro fertilization, stem cell research and other debates will neatly resolve themselves. I do not ever want to see a day when they begin cloning humans simply to extract healthy stem cells for use.

4. Your most mortifying moment – if there are too many, in the last 6 months.

I can truthfully say my most mortifying moment was back when I was 13. To make a long story short, my childhood crush and his friends were across the street hanging out. I had to go to the store for my mom. In order to get to the store I had to cross a very busy street. I got to the middle of the street, right in front of the house with all the boys, and I felt the elastic on my underwear break. I was wearing a sundress. As I waited for traffic to clear I felt the underwear slowly creeping down my legs. I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t want to hike them back up in front of all the boys so I let them slip all the way down to around my ankles. Then I simply stepped out of them and when traffic cleared I continued across the street like nothing happened. WHAT? No of course those aren’t my underwear… I thought I was free and clear until I came back that way to go home. There was my childhood love, Sal, with my underwear now on a stick, waving them around and hollering, “Tammy!! Did you lose something?” ACK!! I immediately ran home crying and refused to come out of the house for 2 weeks after that incident. To make matters even worse they were day of the week underwear with sayings like, “Munch Day” for Monday…etc.

1. First Kiss.

It was the second grade and there was a boy named Charlie that I liked. I remember he kissed me on the cheek in the coat room while he was wearing his yellow rain slicker. I probably slapped him for it. *LOL*

2. First Love:

Ahhh, first love. Salvatore Laferla. His backyard butted against my grandmother’s backyard. My mad crush on Sal started at the ripe old age of 5. To this day when I ride by his house I look up to his bedroom window to see if he’s looking out. *LOL* I happened to see him last year I think, and I STILL got butterflies in my stomach.

3. First Sex:

Meh. It wasn’t consensual and all I’ll say was it was BAD.

4. First Orgasm:

At age 18. My first fiancé and it was from oral. My first time receiving oral sex. HA! It’s probably why I loved him madly after that. *giggles*

1. When’s your birthday?

January 22, 1968

2. How long have you been married?

Brian and I have been married since April 26, 1997, so this April made 8 years. However, we’ve been together since July 18, 1987, which means we will have been together 18 years this coming July! Wow. Long time for someone our ages.

3. Do you (if you are able) want children?

My deepest desire since childhood has been to be a mom. I wanted one child, a son. However, I’m not able to conceive and the years are a marching on so I don’t see my deepest desire ever being fulfilled. So I mother everyone else and my dogs.

4. How many pets do you REALLY have?

Keep in mind all but Miko have been personally rescued by me. I have 4 dogs: Miko, Gizmo, Evie and Kismet, all Japanese Chins. I have 2 cats:

Salem and Ernest P. Hemingway. I have one nearly 5 foot green iguana named Sheila, although I call her Sheila Monster because she absolutely cannot stand even the sight of me and acts vicious when I go near her cage to either turn her lights on or turn them off. She spits at me, hisses, growls, rears up at me and then tries to whip me with her tail. When that doesn’t work and I still continue to invade her space, she closes her eyes and wishes me away. *L* I have one lovebird named BobbyJo McBird and last, but not least, I have one male beta fish named Fishy Companion. I had about 100 snails but my husband finally took care of those nasty buggers last week. Thank heaven. So total that makes 9 pets. I’d have more if I could you know. Hubby said, “No Noah, we have enough now, the ark is full,” when I asked him if we could get a ferret or a hamster. *LOL*

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More to come later…thanks to all of you I got lots of questions to answer.