1998 Entry (Heaven on Earth)

Heaven on Earth

My idea of heaven on earth could really come to pass for me. I could see this scene with my family in about eight or ten years. I have a dream of a mild summer day. We gather together in a shady park where the grass is green and breeze makes the tree branches sway. A big checkered table cloth is flung diagonally over an old wooden picnic table and we hear the sound of the children squealing as they pour out of the cars, running and playing.

Each of my daughters approach, their husbands carrying overstuffed picnic baskets. My own husband is standing up, tossing frisbees in the air and catching them while I sit on the picnic table bench, sipping a cold Perrier and enjoying the sight of my girls. They’re both pregnant, one a little further along than the other. But they’ve done this before. They each have a couple of kids already.

They’re in that “glow” time of pregnancy, when you look great and your belly is round and bursting with life. I watch their husbands faces as they look into the girls’ eyes and I know that my daughters will be cared for and protected forever. Yes, of course the men have great jobs — ones that pay well yet don’t keep them over time much :).

The guys move away to start a little frisbee game as I rise and help my daughters get their baskets unpacked. Mine has long since been unpacked and I’ve got charcoal hot on the grill. As we unpack we joke about the funny things my grandchildren have done and each girl fills me in on the little triumphs and endearments they’ve experienced with their kids this week. As we talk there is a sense of contentment and closeness… a bond that only a mother and her daughters can feel. This emotion mends any rift in my heart and causes me to close my eyes and breathe deeply for just a moment as I make this part of me.

In moments we hear an loud obnoxious honk of a horn and there’s my son ;). He pulls into the parking lot a little bit too fast then jumps out of the car and helps his girlfriend out. His girl is young, wholesome and little bit maternal… constantly doting on him and watching over him with a protective eye. She nags him to take his blood tests and she carries a chocolate bar in her purse, taking on his well-being as one of her primary responsibilities.

My son, on the other hand, is just a touch too wild. He teases her seriousness and mine, light-heartedly. True to form, he enchants us with his slick little compliments and runs over to toss the frisbees with the guys while we’re left feeling as if we’ve just been “taken.”

There we sit, smelling the food roasting over the fire, sipping kool-aid with ice from wax paper cups and enjoying the feel of the breeze. One daughter jokes that the baby is moving and their tummies should have a little kick-box fight.

I know I have nothing to fear, my children and grandchildren are doing well. My husband is the most wonderful man in the world and has always remained faithful and loving to me. My sons-in-law are kind and successful and my future daughter-in-law adores my baby. A moment of perfection and I cling to it knowing that this is what life is all about.

And the best part of this heaven on earth is that it’s not just some special occassion where we get together for some annual picnic or something… the best part is that this is a common event… family that we share regularly, safely knowing there is always someone loving to be with and always something wonderful to do.

To me, this would be heaven on earth… to me, this seems like not so much to ask. On the other hand, in this world, the possibility of this event is frighteningly limited.