NOTHING MORE BEAUTFUL THAN THE COLOUR OF BLOOD

Today my friend ran into me with a bike (I tried to jump out of the way but there was a wall in front of me haha). I realised that I had cut my arm close to my rist, and it was bleeding. The blood was such a beautiful colour. Deep red. It’s been so long since I bled.

A few entries ago, when I said I was going to cut, I didn’t.

I’m looking at the cut now. It’s so beautiful. I sound crazy. When I noticed it I wished it was on my rist so there would be more blood. I don’t know why.

Maybe I am crazy. Or maybe just unique because of past experiences.

The dark red and black of the now-healing cut could be described as calming. I wish there were hundreds of them all over my arm for me to look at. Each one full of so much meaning, pain and colour.

I’ve never felt this way before, but then, I havn’t had a cut in so many months – the last significant one was self inflicted about 5 months ago.

I’ve never in my life seen anything more beautiful than the bloody cut near my rist.

LIZzY

You’re not crazy. The sight of my own blood on my wrists calms me down too. But ya gotta remember every time u cut, who ever it is in your past who is your reason to do that, its them who wins. It just prooves that you’re hurt. And where as sometimes that can be a good thing, it means the other person gets the last laugh, and we can’t let them win. Gemmy x

good for u! u resisted one of the harder things in life, hurting yourself. GOOD JOB:)

Hey. I asked my friend about tht dream u had. I know u put in yourm note that it dosn’t matter but she’s on msn and I remembered, so this is what she said: “it means tht inside she doesnt want these cuts to be there cos they either are or will remind her of why she did them … and she doesnt understand cos shes confused about her own life and wants to know what to do about it.” Gemmy x

IvyWinter

April 15, 2005

RYN: he is. He’s an old HS teacher. Ive known him for almost 5 years, and he’s like a father to me now. There’s no one i trust more in the world.

You’re not crazy. And sorry to burst your bubble, you’re not really unique. Cutting has become trendy and you’re just one of many. Not saying it isnt all boo-hoo and sad still. I used to do it too. Of course, I did it long before it became a fad and stopped when it did. I didnt enjoy young girls looking up to me because I was such an established ‘cutter’. It’s retarded. Get over it.

she is mommalicious

April 26, 2005

You need to get over yourself. It says Faker’s Diary.. well that is what it sounds like.. that you are a fake. don’t cut yourself. it’s stupid and useless. grow up and realize the world is bigger than yourself.

giood lord…get over yourself. you’re ridiculous.