Recent Entries

• Libido

  July 12, 2022

  I don't feel right today. woke up from a dream early this morning, feeling uneasy about details I couldn't remember. I don't feel like meditating or jogging. I don't feel like doing anything I know I should be doing to be better. And that makes me feel guilty. My self-esteem has been low for a&he...

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• Life

  July 3, 2022

  Today I took way too much Dex. Why? Because tomorrow is the first day of ‘Health Week’ and I am an addict. It’s a funny kind of logic that tells you it’s okay to be careless today because from tomorrow you’ll to be extra good. It frames the start of my health kick as an…

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• 10 Things I’m Grateful for Today…

  June 26, 2022

  10 things I’m grateful for today… The beautiful weather. Waking up early enough (without an alarm, mind you) to see the dappled in the lounge room. I had no idea how peaceful this apartment is in the morning. Rosemary’s paintings. Not only do we have interesting art to decorate the walls, but it ...

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• OH SHIT, WE’RE BACK

  April 6, 2018

  So here we all are, back on OD. I don't know how long it's been since I wrote my final entry on the original site, because my diary is still updating. This site was so important to me, and truth be told, I downloaded my diary in HTML format before the site closed and have…

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• 19th February 2018, 9:18 PM

  February 19, 2018

  Before I met you, life was boring and I was depressed. Not to say that I didn’t have things to do, but I’d lost enthusiasm to do them. You inspired me to make changes. I didn’t want to sleep anymore. For the last three years the only thing I would reliably get out of bed…

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• Closing Chapter

  February 19, 2018

  He said he’d call me after the gym, and I didn’t hear from him. It’s okay. I’ll leave it. I’ve done what I can for now, and anything more is pathetic. I don’t like the way he talks to me when he’s frustrated. I find he gets frustrated quite easily. I suppose he gets frustrated…

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• Deflated.

  February 19, 2018

  I hate this because I feel deflated. Deflated. The same word you used to describe how I make you feel. It’s a kind of emotional exhaustion. Disappointed. Hopeless. A little confused. Why.

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• Wishful Thinking

  October 17, 2017

  It's like after I hurt you I couldn't come back from that. Now everything's so serious. I just want to lie on the couch and watch a movie with you. It's okay though, I think I need to let you go... and hope that you'll come back like before this ever happened.

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• Baggage Claim

  October 17, 2017

  It’s funny how love is so amazing and awesome that just the thought of losing it brings about so many negative feelings. Most of all fear. And we respond to that insecurity in funny ways. Too quick to judge. Too quick to anger. Too quick to defence-mode and jumping straight into heartbreak before...

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