I think I’m still carrying the hurt from everything we went through last year. Eventually the hurt manifested in anger, irritation, the confusion of realising that all the things that I’m mad about today and yesterday are all symbolic of the same old issue that was never properly resolved.

I wonder, if we’d prioritised repairing the bricks above all else, if I’d feel safe, or whether I would have just found something else to be unhappy with. I feel like I’m right to expect to be able to trust my partner, but also I worry that being too close to the issue prevents me from seeing it clearly, and that I’m somehow making things worse with miscommunications or being too direct.

Perhaps one day I’ll reflect on these days and know the answer.

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