INADEQUATE COMPARED TO YOU

Over the coarse of around a year, I have come across very few diaries which i could really identify with on OD.

Every now and then, though, an entry is read that matches my feelings so closely it makes me feel a bit emotional…

wen i read these entries i feel like noting the diarist. wouldnt it be nice to receive a note from someone going through the same things? i know how you feel. we are going through just the same things kind of thing.

what holds me back is a feeling of inadequacy. look at me. i am just some child, drama-queen – quittin eating and cutting for attention. isnt that what i look like to you?

To you, am I one of them?

This online community has become just like the one i have long been trying to avoid. i’m so scared of being judged and i don’t know why. every word I write comes with it a future accusation of patheticness and immaturity.

what i’m feeling doesn’t feel like a fucking faze. all i can describe it as is craziness. fuking obsessive, yet simple-minded craziness.

maybe that doesn’t compare to what other people are feeling. maybe it doesn’t come close. i’m afraid that if i presume that my feelings are similar to another person’s, they will think i’m pathetic for the thought even crossing my mind.

spose that wuld make me a lucky person

LIZzY

.glam.

April 25, 2005

i dont think you are fake or pathetic or any of that. it is possible that deep down you might be doing it for attention, but thats not your number 1 intention is it? ppl dont just starve or hurt themselves to be like someone else, and if they do…well they have an entirely different set of issues…<3

snickergirl

April 26, 2005

I don’t think you’re pathetic.. and I think it’s likely that you’re going through some of the same feelings that others on here are. A lot of people forget that young people have crises, as well, which impact them (us, maybe–do I still count) as much as bigger crises later affect adults. I think commisseration would be entirely appropriate. 🙂

Cyd Charisse

April 27, 2005

I feel the same way you’re feeling most of the time.And i’m always worried that people are going to see my scars and think that i cut for attention and i hate how i don’t like to write about my issues with food in my web diary because i let my bf read it but i dont want to hurt him anymore w/ my problems so i just dont mention them

rubberducky5

April 30, 2005

I feel the same way. I wish that people would leave me more notes so I don’t feel so alone.

you’re npt pathetic, immature, or attention seeking. Cutting and weird eating problems are stuff that some people just happen to go through. I don’t eat much either, I cut my arms too. And you’re right, it doesn’t feel like a phase, though that would be nice…and don’t be scared of people judging you. There are some things in life you can’t really talk to friends about, and somehow it feels…

…better and safer to talk to strangers about certain stuff because you know you are anon. You could walk past these people in the street and not know the difference. And if people do judge you, stand up to them. Someone left notes judging me, and I didn’t agree to their idea of being pathetic and selfish. Just because strangers r gd 2 talk 2 bout stuff, dun let them judge you. Gemmy x.

i came across your name e few times and it seems that we are travelling the same circles. i guess that if we have the same thoughts on things then we must have similiar tastes. i do not think that i am pathetic and seeing as we are similiar, then that would also not make me pathetic…my point, although not put very elequently is that you are valuable.look forward to your next entry PC

I haven’t been reading your diary for too long but I don’t think you seem fake or pathetic at all. You seem very honest, actually. Not to mention, extremely intelligent. 🙂

ur not cutting for attention im sure people do that, but the people who struggle with cutting, the people who starve them selves because of hate yea, i get that. its not fake, it sux its hard and ive been through i still struggle with it buit its getting easier … so wouldnt it be nice to find someone who knows what ur going through … well i know!