PARTY NERVES•LEAVE NOW OR DIE LIKE THIS

There’s a party on sunday (long weekend), and im thinkin about goin. the thing about this, though, is that itlll be my first party where i dont know majority of the people going, nor the person whos party it is. altho everyone else will know everyone. this makes me a bit nervous. very nervous. im going to be one of the ‘ugly’ people there – i know it. how depressing that nobody will even know theres a personality under the ugly face, cuz they wont know anything about me. so anyway, got any advice? i get really quiet when i feel awkward. this creates a downward spiral – i feel awkward, i get quiet, i feel more awkward, i get quieter etc. should i have a bit to drink before to make me a bit more confident?

i dont like the way my life is right now, and i havnt for a while. if i dont choose to change, then maybe i never will.

"Leave now or die like this" – Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. Puts it perfectly.

It’s always scary moving out of your comfort zone, and so often for me it ends negativly. from my past entries, would you call me a negative person? i was always so positive…

 LIZzY