LIE HERE FOREVER

Its 2:45 AM and i cant get to fucking sleep. Been lying here for 2 hours.

Ate 1 bowl of cereal, 1 apple pie, 2 bowls of icecream and 1 pack of sugar free lollies (25 cals) and 3 ginger snap biscuits today. Either i dont eat or I eat shit. I am the least healthy eater I know!

Going bowling tomorrow. My mum tookt eh day off to spend time with me and my bro, or maybe shes just sick of work. Anyway so I’m going bowling. I would ( and probablyshould) stay home with ma, but the people I’m going with aren’t my normal friends. and im very sick of my normal friends so making better friends with these people could be very benefical. Anyway i luv bowling, even if im not very good at it.

I had a weird dream a few nights ago. I dreamt that I fully came onto my cousin while we were watching tv and we had sex. it was a very hot dream, which is quite disturbing. has anyone else ever dreamt of something like this? i know a few people who often hook up with their relatives. lol.

savage garden playing. "when you feel all alone, and the world has turned its back on you." I wonder who wrote these songs, and what their inspiration was, or if they just made it up without feeling.

Im sorry for my past entries. i dont know how you read them. i am very pathetic. i have everything material anyone could need, as well as a family who luvs me and a gud education. i dont know what’s behind the thoughts that come into my head, but what i do know is that im never going to stop writing them on here, even if not everybody can accept that. i do not express them in the real world, to anyone at all. this is the only place where i can be real to myself and everyone, and i’ll be damned if im stopped by a few nameless noters labelling me an attention seeker. all i can say is im sorry. im sory that you dont understand.

oneday im just going to hop in a car and drive til im somewhere where i dont know anybody. where everybody is free to be themselves. all the weirdos and the outcasts can go there. does anyone know such a place?

i was talking to a homophobic friend the other day. homophobia – its around every fucking corner. i think it comes from ignorance. in some cases ignorance is bliss, but dont these racists, homophobics, and sexists know how much pain theyr causing for those they help marginalise?

eh i need new clothes. i feel like such a loser when im not wearing nice clothes. like everybodys staring at me thinking ‘what a frump’ or somthing.

im only gettin 7 hours in tonight. cya!