SO DAMN LOW

I need a friend so bad. Why won’t I let anyone in? If I do then they’ll think I’m an attention seeker. I’m going on a week long school camp on Monday (today is saturday). Maybe I will open up at camp, shed a few tears…Unlikely…But that release would be so calming. I can’t cut. Fucking netball. Its getting in the way of my cutting because I wear short sleaves in the games every weekend. Scars are trouble enough as they are. Makeup doesn’t cover them up.

I have more to write, but writing seams so pointless right now. So meaningless.

so fucked up I’m a screw up I dont deserve friends.

why aren’t I dead?

Dont cry you pathetic attention seeker. Your NOTHING. to anybody. Dont think for one second that they care.

Please stop. I just want it to stop. I’m so goddam crazy. Why do I do this to myself constantly?

People care even if they don’t seem like it. I encourage you to step outside of your comfort zone and be friendly to someone. It can’t hurt anything, right? And that cutting stuff… ughhh… that’s just not good. That makes me sad to hear that. ~clowngirl

hey my amazing lizzy! i often think why do i do this to my self as well?but i don’t know!!!! anyway, i guess your upset you have stoped cutting but its good (i think) cause maybe you’ll get out of the habit which means maybe you’ll start feeling better bit by bit. You know you’re camping thing you’re going on. i want you to make it special for you. This week is about YOU….

listen.loud

August 29, 2005

… you can eat anything you want. you can hold you’re head up high because YOU ARE IMPORTANT. you can get to know peope, they can get to know you. And lizzy if someone doesn’t like you then do you know what, screw them, they are not worth it. You shouldn’t have to put up with feeling guilty. (p.s i just thought that maybe that would be nice for you but if im being stupid,sorry.I am stupid.