Old fashioned what happened today entry

I feel like a lot of good stuff happened today so it’s worth writing about. I’ll try to shake off the rust and give it a whirl.

 

So I slept in til almost 7AM. That’s hilarious reading my entries from when I was 20 (18 years ago), when sleeping in was sleeping until 2PM. But I’m a dad now, so 7AM is plenty late. And I had trouble falling asleep last night, mostly because I was reading the aforementioned entries from 18 years ago and that stirred up so many memories and emotions.

Emily was already downstairs watching TV and I went down. Julian said he wanted to lay in the bed still so I went down without him. Of course he doesn’t like staying upstairs alone for long so he snuck down about two minutes later. [Spellcheck is flagging “snuck” as misspelled. Had me second guessing myself. Is it “sneaked”? Dictionary.com says either is OK].

So we relaxed on the couch a bit – we ended up watching the 2019 animated Addams Family movie. That was pretty cute. Tons of big name actors, like Charlize Theron, etc. Snoop was in it too! He was Cousin It.

So we actually watched the whole thing – well Julian and I did but Emily went up to do some laundry and yoga. Then we decided we’d go for a walk after the movie.

So we walked around the neighborhood and Julian rode his bike. Not long ago at all that would have been a pain in the ass, because he was wobbly on the bike (even with the training wheels) and would continually stop and we’d be crawling along. But he has gotten very good on the bike. He was just motoring right along, and we actually had to up our pace a bit to keep up with him. It’s nice in our neighborhood because there are walking paths so we didn’t have to worry about him being on the street. It wasn’t too hot but was incredibly humid, so we got pretty sticky. It was a nice walk, and with Julian riding on his own Emily and I got to talk a good bit, which is a really pleasant part of our walks.

So Julian got the idea that he wanted to try his bike without training wheels. The neighbor kids did that about a week or so ago so I guess he got the idea from that. So I took off the training wheels and put on the kick stand and we went into the cul-de-sac and gave it a try. We put on gloves and elbow and knee pads first. It was a struggle but he gave it a good shot. He doesn’t have the balancing thing down at all yet though, and he didn’t really keep his pedals moving. So I had to hold on to his bike the whole time. And when he lost balance he would grab onto me to keep from falling. I started to feel some frustration coming up, but I let that go. This isn’t easy! And I was proud of him for even trying. I know it will take a few times. But he wasn’t discouraged at all, but he was ready to go inside after a few minutes.

Then we went out to Chuy’s for lunch. I haven’t been there since the pandemic hit. We sat outside and we wore our face masks until we got to the table. This is just the new normal. It’s not so bad. I hope its reasonably effective. Sometimes I still question whether we should be going to restaurants at all, however I want to be able to take calculated risks to be able to live a life that’s a little bit more normal. So we always wear our masks when we should, sit outside whenever we can. Hopefully we stay healthy. This whole pandemic thing is just unreal. Like we’re living in an upside down world, or alternate timeline. But it will pass eventually.

So Chuy’s was good, I got the Chuychanga, Julian had a quesadilla (and orange push-up pop which they include with kids meals) and Emily had…umm. I think she had tacos. I don’t always pay attention to what she gets. Sometimes I feel bad about that, like I’m too self-absorbed. Oh well. I’m 90% sure it was tacos.

Then we went to Publix and picked up a few household items we needed but also a card for my Dad because tomorrow’s his birthday, and Emily got a b-day card for Becca who she works with who has a birthday Monday. We also got a few snack items like chips and dip because we were going to meet some friends at a pool later.

This was a pretty spontaneous random thing and it turned out wonderfully. She told me a girl she works with (another Dentist) and her were saying how they should hang out some time. Emily sort of meant it as a vague thing, but Dane actually suggested doing something this weekend. Emily had asked me if it sounded like a good idea and I was like, sure, why not! Dane isn’t one of the girls she’s close with at work, so it was a bit surprising but I thought (and said to Em) that it was probably better to lean toward being open. So we said we’d hang today and I think Dane suggested going to their neighborhood pool. So we did that from 3-5. For that pool and also our own neighborhood pool you have to sign up ahead of time for a time slot (because of COVID restrictions). So that was planned. Dane and her husband would go and bring his daughter/Dane’s step-daughter who is 10 (Julian is 5). So after Publix we went home and I had a meeting to attend.

To explain this meeting will take as aside to explain a bit about me. Even way back in 2001 shortly after starting this diary I started meditating. So I did that throughout college and after I graduated I kinda stopped. Getting addicted to World of Warcraft may have been part of that.

Anyway around 2014-15 I decided to get back into it and get serious. At some point I got the desire to learn how to actually teach mindfulness too. So I found this training program and one pre-requisite they had was you had to have 5 years of daily meditation. So I basically committed to doing that. And I did actually accomplish that – 5 years having meditated every single day, as of February 14, 2020. But before I got to that point I found a different mindfulness teacher training program that didn’t require that sort of thing. So I started that back in 2018 I think. To make a long story short, I finished the second phase of that training his year so I’m a mindfulness coach now. And he organization that trained me has a private Facebook page to to group coaching to support members. I’m pretty active on that page answering questions and being part of the community so they asked me if I’d like to get some training on becoming more of an official moderator of the page. I’m already a moderator but they’re looking for people to step up a bit more and get some official training on how they want it done. So that was my Zoom meeting today, going over that. As a side note, I love teaching mindfulness and I adore the community of coaches and practitioners that make up this (and another) Facebook group. These are some truly amazing and inspiring people and I love being in community with them. So that meeting was pretty cool. I’ve been busy with playing hockey and family stuff and doing my own mindfulness coaching so I haven’t been to any of the live coaching Zoom calls in a while. So I’ve missed sharing that virtual space with these folks. So it was really nice talking a bit with Marcy, Chris, Nicholas, Nick, Anyez, Rose, and others. Such lovely people.

Anyway after that meeting was over Julian and I played “Zingo” for a bit which is like a kids bingo game where you have these bingo cards with little icons and words like “smile” and “bird” and “dog” and stuff. You flip over a couple chips with the same icons on them and try to match them with what’s on your cards. So we did that and it was pretty fun. I love that he’s old enough and smart enough to play games like that together. He’s a super smart kid. And I’m always happy to have him entertained without it being some type of screen time, like iPad or TV.

So after that we went to the pool. There was a bit of that social nervousness having never met these people before. But that was pretty minor. For one, I meet new people all the time, and I’m just not shy. It’s funny because I used to think I was an introvert. But reading my old diary entries that’s hilarious, because I was constantly talking about wanting to be with people, talk to people, etc. Sure I can enjoy alone time, but I get a lot out of social interaction. I think Emily is a lot more introverted than I am. Even though she can certainly be social and she’s very friendly and kind to people, often you can tell it drains her to be around people. It energizes me. And that’s what they say kind of defines intro/extro. Interestingly I also learned not too long ago that your introversion/extroversion isn’t necessarily a static trait – it can change over time. When I’ve taken personality tests I’ve tended to get more extroverted over time. The last one I took I was pretty much right in the middle – just barely onto the extroverted side. The pandemic situation isn’t easy on extroverts. Fortunately I’ve had just enough social interaction to keep from getting to depressed. I was leaning that direction recently and then Tomas sent me a message about OpenDiary being back. That prompted him and I to reminisce about a lot of stuff and just chat a lot. It doesn’t hurt that we’re both working from home and able to just chat over FB for hours. I told him it felt like the old days chatting on AIM. Nostalgia’s a funny thing. I’m feeling it hardcore this week going back through all my old entries.

So met Dane and her husband and step-daughter and we sat a table together, had some snacks. Julian and their daughter went and got in the pool together. Even though Julian is taking swim lessons now (he’s had two lessons), we put his puddle jumper floaty on him. And we let him go. This was probably the first time ever we let him swim without an adult being right within arm’s reach. The puddle jumper is pretty safe and we felt a little comfortable since he was with a bigger kid. I still watched him very closely every second though. But it was really nice to be able to sit and chat with the adults. Talked with Michael about his work and my work, about how it had been affected by COVID and stuff. Dane actually went to Mary Washington like Emily and I did so I talked to her about that. There’s definitely a bond with alums you went to college with, even though we didn’t know her when we were there. Especially I think when you come from such a small school like we did. I was going to tell her about how excited I was when I started working at CarMax and there was another girl starting the same week who also went to Mdub. So many UVA, VCU, VT grads everywhere. It’s special meeting a MWC/UMW alum. Anyway I didn’t get to tell her about that but no problem.

After a bit the kids came back and ate some of the M&M cookies we brought, then went back swimming, and we adults decided to get in too. We were grateful for that decision because it was getting pretty hot. It was really nice that the pool had like a ledge along the edge you could sit on, so we sat and continued to talk and watch the kids play. They met a couple other little girls who were swimming and the four of them were playing together. Julian isn’t shy at all. He just jumped right in there. I’m happy for him about that. At one point Emily went to the bathroom and I was left there, and at first I thought it might be awkward. But I was like, why would it be awkward, just keep talking to them. So I did and it was cool. I felt like there was a good balance of self-disclosure and listening. I find it fascinating sometimes the skill it takes to have good social interactions. And we don’t really teach our kids that stuff. I learned it over the years by failing over and over again basically and reading a few books, taking some courses on communication, etc. The mindfulness coaching (and mindfulness practice in general) has also been pretty helpful with that.

So then Julian wanted to take off his puddle jumper and swim without it, so I had to leave the ledge and stay with him. Michael ended up going and swimming with his daughter too and the ladies sat and chatted some more. Julian was a wild animal, as he often is. It was quite a workout keeping up with him, and helping him stay above water when he needed it. He needs my help a lot when he’s in deeper water, but he doesn’t think he does, so as I’m holding up his belly he’s trying to pull my hand away from him. So I got a nice workout anyway.

When 5:00 came we headed home. Emily and I both decided we had a really nice time, and were kind of surprised at how nice it was. They live pretty close by so I’m sure we’ll hang out again.

Got home and all got showered and thought about dinner. Em said she wasn’t feeling that well. Initially she thought about making hot dogs but nixed that with stomach not feeling perfect. I wanted to have my leftover Chuy’s but no one else had leftovers. She asked Julian if he wanted PB&J and he did (he usually says yes to that). She decided she wanted that too. So I made them both PB&J sandwiches and heated up my leftovers. Enjoyed that. It was probably a good amount of food for me – there wasn’t too much left so I didn’t overeat. Been struggling with that lately. In 2017 I lost 50 pounds using mindful eating. Then in 2018/19 I gained about 30 pounds back because I had abandoned the mindful eating and just indulged in whatever I wanted. That was a coping mechanism because I was dealing with intense grief. Maybe i’ll write about that here but maybe not. I probably will but not now.

So anyway, I celebrate any mindful eating victory and try not to beat myself up over the missteps. This was only a half victory I think because although I didn’t overeat, I didn’t eat very mindfully. It’s tough when we always have the TV on during meals.

Yesterday after his swim lesson I played some xbox and let Julian watch and I played the Lego Movie Video Game. I had played before and was pretty far into it but decided to start over both for his benefit and because I didn’t really remember how to play it, it’s been years. So today he was asking me to play that again, so I decided we could do it for a bit after dinner and before bed. So we played that for about 30 minutes. I should enjoy the fact that he likes watching me play video games now while it lasts, because I’m sure eventually he will not want to watch and will only want to play. We don’t let him play any console games yet. We still want his gaming to be educational when possible, although he has lots of garbage truck or construction truck games on the iPad that are pretty much just games. But we moderate it. So anyway he loved it, and of course didn’t want to stop when we were done. But he was pretty tuckered out from swimming. So we did our bedtime routine. For a long time that consisted of doing a meditation on the Stop Breathe and Think Kids app, but the past few nights he’s said he’s too tired for that and wants to go right to reading books. So I read him two books about garbage trucks (his obsession) and then brushed his teeth. Then he fell asleep pretty quickly. Went in to see if Emily wanted to watch some Schitts Creek which we like to do after he goes to bed, but she was already asleep so I thought I’d come on here and try my hand and writing again. And now I’ve been on here for I think over an hour. Crazy. Been listening to some old music – stuff I referenced in my 18-19 year old entries. So that meant Foo Fighters – There is Nothing Left to Lose, Atticus Fault (self-titled) and now Incubus – S.C.I.E.N.C.E. Great music, some of it I haven’t listened to in a very long time! 10:00 now and that is late for me now. Funny because on many of my old entries I talk about being up til 5AM. How times have changed. But as I was telling Tomas, I really value my sleep now. So I’m gonna do some meditation and go to sleep. I made the mistake of not meditating before bed last night – because I had meditated for 15 minutes with Chris and Sethu from work in the morning. But then it took me over an hour to fall asleep. I’m usually out within 5 minutes after I meditate. So going that route tonight.

Peace and love!