Marriage Counsellor (Session 1)

We did it! Well on Tuesday we did! After the last therapist we saw, I was a bit skeptical about this new one. You know that feeling when you see someone for the first time and you just feel like turning around and just leaving? Well she opens the door…straight black hair…black shirt…black peddle pushers and nice black sandals…she is thin and young and attractive…so I am thinking how is this person going to help me and my husband…

and there is no ring…so what does this person  know about marriage?

We follow her up to her office… every time I look at her face, I swear she has had some Botox on her face. But she is young so how could she have done any work…but her mouth barely moves when she talks…she has no wrinkles under her eyes…but then again neither do I…but I am black…and…

So we sit down and she starts off with announcing what she does and how she approaches things…while she is doing this he is busy on his phone…Like Really?

I bring up the whole financing thing and how everything falls on my shoulders….she stops me and says that in ever relationship, finances are an issue because one earns more blah blah blah…she went on to say how she wants us to start with the major issues that arise and will come to finance and stuff…okay…

The whole time we were attacking each other…and pointing fingers… the counsellor stopped us and said that we are on our own street and need to focus on the problems/dirt on our own street and not focus on trying to fix each other’s issues.

My husband explained how he will drink and then go to sleep early at like 9ish and then wake up at like 11…and struggle to fall asleep so he would take a sleeping tablet. I knew he was taking sleeping tablets now but I didn’t know he was mixing them with alcohol. Thankfully he has finished the pack the doc prescribed him. I don’t know how he got a doctor to prescribe them to him….but anyhow… The therapist actually said that she also specializes with addiction, but she doesn’t advertise it, it is only known through word of mouth…I thought that highlighted how I was called to her.

is a term no longer used or accepted…we are to now use… …he did prefer that term and definition of it…as he knows he can live without it but just drinks alcohol for the wrong reasons and it makes him behave in a way that is not appropriate. The therapist went on to say that what he experiences is Alcohol Withdrawal…this is when he isn’t drinking and then get’s that itch for that drink thinking he can handle it…turns out that Alcohol Withdrawal is the only withdrawal a person can actually die from. The info kinda freaked me out, hope it did to him too. Anyway so after lots of talking…she told us the stages of sleep and alcohol abuse and how it works and why we think one thing but it is actually the other thing…he mentioned how he feels that because I don’t follow through on what I said I would do…gym/diet, he feels that he too can just let go and drink…the therapist pointed out that living tit for tat is wrong and again the whole  .

She directed me to an so I can work on my food addiction. She explained how the release of serotonin after sugar or anything that makes us feel good is bad, even though we feel good after it. I know I am not perfect and I too need to work on myself. So I am looking forward to this leave and getting the chance to focus on and work on and fix and just be all about …

**************

I have just completed the many questionnaires we have to each do and while answering the questions I have done some thinking. I think I big problem is how I may have expected certain things to happen.