I am married and still trying to figure life out. I need to vent and get many things off my chest. I have been through a lot and even though I have lots of support there are still many things I feel I cannot share and things I need to get off my chest without being judged directly.

Latest Entry

Divorced!

May 27, 2024
Kinda funny to think how I just may get divorced...but I was never legally married. Since midday yesterday I haven't been wearing my wedding ring...and I... ...I... Today is Monday...back to work after a rather shitty weekend. Well at least for me it was. Decided to have a romantic Shabbat Dinner...
Continue Reading...

Recent Entries

  • Random Thoughts!
    May 23, 2024
    Started off the day with getting blood tests... were filled...and then off I went to see the ...which just made me do some exercises with my arms and hands...only then to refer to a .  I am pretty sure that he gets commission for referring me to another doctor...I mean according to his diary I wa...
    Continue Reading...
  • אני קושית יפה/I’m a Cute Black Girl Pg 95
    May 22, 2024
    I am no bible expert, so I cannot quote anything from it, but I know enough to know that in the Old Testament Hashem does declare the Israelites to be his Chosen People and often through the bible he declares how he will protect them, and, in all religions, we are told to believe that…
    Continue Reading...
  • Say Something
    May 20, 2024
    I first heard this song when Alex and Sierra sand it in . Then I heard the original by Great Big World and then Christina Aguilera joined it and honestly the song is amazing no matter which artist is singing it. I feel like I have better conversations with characters in the books I read,…
    Continue Reading...
  • When Does Enough Become Enough?
    May 20, 2024
    I am so indecisive. One minute I can be fuming and so certain about something but then 36 hours later I have forgotten about it and am ready to make peace and move on and neglect the pain and isolation I felt. I don't even know where to even begin... Well... Got home from shul…
    Continue Reading...
  • אני קושית יפה/I’m a Cute Black Girl Pg 94
    May 17, 2024
    Tonight, after the Shabbat Service I am doing the announcements...so after work I will be putting on my skirt, which in my backpack and heading off to shul. Besides having all these feelings rushing in me with all that is going on around me... after talking with a new friend, I am filled with eve...
    Continue Reading...
  • The Mother in Me…
    May 17, 2024
    I so feel it in me, and everyone says it... but it hasn't happened. At least not yet. This year I went to see a gynae who specializes in fertility treatment etc... I had the ... Sonohysterogram uses a saline solution to fill the uterine cavity and a transvaginal ultrasound to create a clear image...
    Continue Reading...
  • אני קושית יפה/I’m a Cute Black Girl Pg 93
    May 13, 2024
    Never have I ever felt as uncomfortable, in shul, as I did last Friday... and you would think that being a black woman and having grown up around Jews and Whites and having gone to an Orthodox Shul a million times, throughout my life, that a Progressive Shul would be the last place I would…
    Continue Reading...
  • Mothers’ Day
    May 12, 2024
    I really wish I was a mother. It is so not fair… been spending the last few hours wishing family and friends…  and just wish someone was wishing me “Happy Mothers Day” I so want to be a mommy. And my time is running out… I so want to be a mommy. But I don’t…
    Continue Reading...
  • אם תלך (If You Leave)
    May 8, 2024
    I just love this song.... long before I googled up the lyrics and transliteration and translation...All music done by Idan Raichel just speaks to me. אם תלך מי יחבק אותי ככה מי ישמע אותי בסוף היום מי ינחם וירגיע רק אתה יודע Im telech mi yechabek oti kacha mi yishma oti besof hayom mi yenachem&hel...
    Continue Reading...

Search Entries

  • Use dropdowns or search terms above to find entries.

Chapters