I am married and still trying to figure life out. I need to vent and get many things off my chest. I have been through a lot and even though I have lots of support there are still many things I feel I cannot share and things I need to get off my chest without being judged directly.

Latest Entry

I am Exhausted With Life…

February 16, 2025
For the last few weeks I have been working retail… I love the whole being around people….hut hate how I am working on my feet everyday and everyday is a work day and the shifts are shit…one day I start work at 8:30 and work too 16:00 then the next day I start at 13:30…
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Recent Entries

  • I Need to Get Up…
    February 3, 2025
    ….but I really don’t feel like it. It is my day off work but I don’t feel like getting up and doing all the things I saw I was gonna do. Like…. - sort out rates and taxes - clean flat (because my husband clearly can’t even though he says he will - meet up…
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  • That Fucker!!
    February 2, 2025
    Just woke up and went into the lounge and what do I see?? A bottle of vodka. Just a few weeks ago we argued about his drinking. He knows how tight things are and how I need to depend on him but I can’t when he has been drinking. I want to kick him out…
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  • If I Died…
    February 1, 2025
    …I know I would leave behind people who would be beyond devastated and they would miss me but I wouldn’t feel this pain anymore. At least I think I wouldn’t. Life is so fucking hard right now and I feel as though everyone around me is living somewhat a good life and I have fucked…
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  • I Try….
    February 1, 2025
    Woke up this morning and just burst into tears. I am crying right now while I am writing this post. Need to go to my retail job real soon but I just want to cry in bed all day. I have so many bills that need to be met. Need to survive. My husband tells…
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  • I Don’t Know if I Trust Him
    January 31, 2025
    Things between myself and my husband have been pretty good since my last post. But now I wonder was it good because I was sane and he hadn’t been drinking and I had been needing his companionship?? For the past 2 weeks I have been working in’s jewellery store and it has been great being…
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  • I am so Over this Life!!
    January 12, 2025
    I am so tired of life. Got no job! Barely have money in my bank account. As much as I love my husband, I find myself often questioning why I am still with him. He does so many things that I don’t like and don’t want in my life. There are times when I feel…
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  • What a Load of Shit!!
    December 24, 2024
    He is talking to his cousin (well it sounds like it) and he is talking on speaker…he loves talking on speaker and claims he hates it but the ear peace on his cellphone doesn’t work…yet there are times when he uses it… guess that is just one of the many lies he tells me and…
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  • I am so lost…
    December 23, 2024
    Often, lately and I am sure many times before, I have been feeling as if I have not been living the life I want to be living. Often I have had suicidal thoughts and have wished I had the guts to actually put those thoughts to action…but i just feel that suicide is taking the…
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  • Time Moving Slowly…
    December 18, 2024
    So last week I was fired. He didn’t think I met his expectations and after a lil push and pull with HR I agreed to sign a MSA….basically they don’t want today they fired me but I need to be able to claim UIF within the next few months… right now I am stressing as…
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