Change of heart

So I applied for a library position at another elementary school in our district and didn’t even get a chance to do a interview so I found out next year there is going to be 2 self contained classrooms at our school and that the new teacher is from another newer school and that she is very nice and really cares for her students so I’m trying to stick out the rest of this school year so I can possibly work with her next year. So lately I have had to call in a few times mostly for digestive issues which happens to me a LOT. The lady I mentioned in a previous entry who has been my friend for probably 5 years keeps assuming that I’m calling in because I don’t want to deal with the autistic student and that I’m not really sick. I don’t know why she thinks this because she knows I have a LOT of medical issues. I have hypothyroidism thanks to only having part of my thyroid, no gallbladder, sleep apnea, 3 different kinds of lyme disease, tendonitis in my heel,plantar facitis, high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, hypersomia, blood clotting disorder, vertigo, my body doesn’t process fat well due to gallbladder or protein either and I have low stomach acid. It just hurts my feelingsĀ  that she would think that of me knowing all the stuff I have and she also has health conditions and I don’t go around assuming that she is “faking” being sick because honestly either way whether she really is sick or not that is not my business. She said that the she’s not the only para that thinks this too. I mean everyone is going to have a opinion and I’m pretty sure there is no persuading anyone and they are entitled to their opinion. The whole thing just bugs me. That’s why I stay to myself at work because I don’t want to deal with drama and another reason I try not to trust co workers because it just leads to drama and gossip. I have come to accept that I’m going to have to work with the autistic student and no matter how challenging it is I have to deal and I do. I do get frustrated butĀ  everyone does at one time or another. So I guess it’s sticking to myself and only talking when I need to at work. The same lady thinks that I somehow cancelled the gift card I got for xmas. No matter how mad someone made me I wouldn’t do something like that besides the fact I don’t know how to do that and I don’t think gift cards can be returned. I made a comment about if I knew I could get disability I would just do that and be done with trying to work. My whole body is in pain every day from walking all over that building and I’m sure to a lot of people I’m just fat and lazy but that’s why I try not to judge anyone because you don’t know what they are dealing with. So I don’t know what else to do in this situation except just let people think what they want to think because if you try to defend yourself it makes you look guiltyĀ  and just keep to myself at work and just get through the rest of this school year. We have 47 days I think left in school. I just have to push through.

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April 1, 2022

When I was a kid, they had outdoor classrooms, I forget what they are called but, yeah, and you are right. You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

April 2, 2022

I am on Disability.Ā  Call Social Security and ask for the forms.Ā  You have to have your doctors fill it out, as well as yourself, and the forms are long but gosh…so worth it.