I have a husband
Being married is still really weird for me. It’s something I swore I would never do again.
Saying the words ”my husband” still seems really foreign.
I think it’s just the words though. We’ve lived together 4 years now, and have mostly had a very relaxed relationship.
We had a conversation recently that kind of threw me off.
When I say we have a very relaxed relationship, we’re not the type of couple to be stuck to each other 24/7.
For instance, he went on a Florida vacation for a week last summer with his family, and I think there was one phone call and maybe three texts the entire time.
He’s addicted to working, to being outside, to being busy, so even on his days off, he’ll work his side job with his buddy.
I’m more of a homebody, or out spending time with my kids and grandkids.
But recently we were in the truck and I was singing to him obnoxiously and the line was ”you were my everything”
And he said ”I know that’s not true”
Me: Oh like I’m YOUR everything?
Him: I wouldn’t have married you if you weren’t.
Me: That’s a lie. You are literally busy with everything else. Work, the dogs, your side job, your projects. I’m definitely not your everything.
He asked me what I thought it meant, and I told him when I thought of someone being an ”everything” I thought of those sad little girls who change their schedules, lives, friends, routine, all for a guy and needs to be hung up on him 24/7.
He said ”That’s not being everything, that’s just about control.
Okay fair point, but then he went on to say ”I think you’re a lot like Beth Dutton”
Me: Instantly offended because I’m not fond of her character.
Him: When that one girl told her she couldn’t date a cowboy because she needed to be first
Me: Yeah she wanted all of his time and attention
Him: Is that what you want?
Me: For you to be stuck up my ass all the time. Absolutely not. You already know that.
Him: And then Beth said ‘I prefer a man who already has a full life’.
Me: Okay you have a point.
And he does have a point. Several of our friends/family members have commented on us having a ”strange” relationship, because it’s not what they percieve to be normal.
Like when he was in Florida, his brother asked if he had heard from me yet and he said no.
The brother couldn’t believe it ”you haven’t heard from her at all. Did you call or text her? She didn’t even text you yet?”
He said ”you don’t worry about how me and my girlfriend communicate.
He’s generally a quiet man, but he likes to banter with me. People call it arguing, we call it talking lol
But they don’t understand the connection between us either. The way he’s obsessed with our dogs is endearing to me.
The way he plays with the raccoons that I rescue and rehab is adorable. This year he had a favorite, and as a baby, he would pull her out every morning and hold her while he had coffee before work.
He’s never said anything against my kids, even during some of the hardest situations. He just accepts that I’m doing what I can, and helps if I ask for it.
He doesn’t question me or throw a fit when I want to go out of town to visit them or whatever.
I literally never have to worry about him even flirting with another woman. That’s a whole other level of relaxation in itself.
The way he’s obsessed with Judge Judy is annoying, but also funny to me.
His sense of humor is a big factor as well.
We’ve been through a lot over the last four years. My child’s drug addiction, his mothers sickness, passing, and funeral, my mother having cancer, my back issues, procedures, doctors visits. There’s been a lot that we’ve managed to get through without any big blowouts, arguments, or falling apart.
It’s just that he accepts me as I am, for what I am, for what I do- and the same with me. He is who he is.
He once told me that his ex wife complained about his side business, about him being gone so much, about him not being more celebratory during certain holidays, and that seem to really bother him. Not because she was upset, but because she didn’t accept that’s just who he is.
Working makes him happy. So I don’t ever say anything about it. In truth it doesn’t bother me.
I know that if I need him for something, or need him to be somewhere with me, he will.
Anyway, I don’t really have a point to this post. Only that I got married, and I have a good husband, and whether or not anyone thinks our relationship is normal or not, we have peace, stability, and happiness, and that’s all that matters to us.