What I wish I could say

If I could say everything I wanted to my stbxh I would cuss him out for breaking me. I know I’ve posted stuff like this recently but he broke me to where I didn’t allow myself to feel for nearly 25 years. I bottled up all the parts of me that could feel and buried them.

So now, when I feel, I get terrified and I run away.

I can’t even be in control of feeling now because it’s too raw and I hate him so much for this.