Monday 12/25/23 Christmas

9:58a.m. So this is Christmas. They let me sleep in until five this morning. I was very depressed. I pigged out on candy and cookies. Thankfully I ran out of goodies before getting sick. Then I slept in my wheelchair until breakfast. I had toast and eggs. The coffee and juice didn’t do anything for my mood. After breakfast I continued to binge on Oreo cookies.

I’m a binge eater. I do not, cannot stop, with one damned cookie. I ate the whole package. I been that way all my life. I get depressed and all I want ito do is eat. I walked away from alcohol. But I can’t control myself when it comes with food. When I’m depressed I really put it away. Like I said I was very depressed today.

I just felt so alone and lost this Holiday. I was thinking how much I wanted another $25 Amazon gift card . I wanted to get these two books. Instead the nursing home gave me cookies and candy. I’m grateful for the gifts I got, don’t get me wrong on that. But it was something of a big let down.

Then I got to thinking about being alone today. Hell with gifts. I would be happy to have a visitor. I might as well wish for a winning Powerball ticket. Neither one is going to happen. Should be used to being alone the holidays. For some reason being alone really bothers me this year.I sound like Scrooge. I will be glad January 2 comes around. Then the friggin Holidays will be over

Anyways I talked with Chocolatechip. She wasn’t having a good day either. Christmas is just another day for her. She did get some nice gifts from family. But she has no use for them. All Chocolatechip wanted was a blanket and a DG Gift card. She was very disappointed. But she did her housework and a load of laundry.

They are not having a Coffee Social today. I opted to be put back in bed. At least I don’t have to sit on that Hoyer pad. Also, arthritis is giving me a break today. I should be happy I’m having a pain free day. But I feel so friggin sad and lonesome.

5:45p.m. I slept most of the day. Depression brings that on I guess. Also felt sick thanks to gorging on cookies and candy this morning. I ruined my appetite so I did not eat. This was one miserable day. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.