Dear Jaxon
Dearest Jaxon,
February 18 Its been 3 years ago today, you been taken from me.
I let you down as your mother and i am beyond sorry for letting you down and disappointed you. But i realized my mistake it has taken me too long to realize how i been fucking up badly with you. So im sorry i let my depression and bitterness get in my way and drugs clouded my judgement
Im going to get clean im sorry jaxon i let you sown and myself as well. I hope u can forgive me
Love you ,
Mom
Hi.
I know how you feel. I lost a child as well. It was about nine years ago, but under different circumstances. At that time, I probably was still bitter for all the hellish things I’d gone through over the years, but I never once took it out on him.
He was my miracle child, and I loved him with my entire heart and only tried to shield him from what I had gone through. I still have all the happy little drawings he made when he was with me to this day.
In my situation, there were no drugs or substances involved, but he was snatched away from me deceitfully regardless. Then I was treated as if I were a danger to him, so I let the “safe” people keep him. I had no money for a lawyer, zero support, no one to dispute the lies, etc., so it was a losing battle that only would have kept me in a cycle of continuous torment.
The only “crimes” I ever committed against that child were having low income and being a person of faith. If those things make me a shitty mother, I’ll gladly accept the label.
My story will always remain the same. I will never apologize for things I didn’t do or bend over backwards to prove to anyone that I’m worthy enough or what I said was true.
That’s my intro. Now, let’s talk about you. I am very sorry you have lost your child, and I sincerely understand the excruciating pain something like that leaves behind. I wish you much strength in getting clean. There is still hope for you and your son because the solution to your problem is tangible. It might not be easy for you, but it’s doable. All I can do is remember your post and pray that you’ll receive the healing and freeing energies you need. I can’t do anything about my situation, but I can say a prayer for you.
Enjoy your day.
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I cry every day for my mistakes and regrets as his mom. He is so angry st me snd he has s rifht to be that mad at me in his eyes i abandoned him and never got him. Now he is giving up on me. There is no world without jaxon in it. I have lost everything, my house, my car, my kid, my dog. My brother died as well and now my puppy was murdered and im beyond angry and all i do is cry for i dont know how to fix this problem
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