Could It Though?

So in my head I have my exit planned out… Of course I would need a few things to happen in order for it to all happen the way that I want and feel I deserve….but am I okay with being alone?

I ended my previoud post about this mentioning that  While daydreaming about my exit out of my marriage and my new life alone, I still went off to get my engagement ring resized, and looked at other wedding rings….

So today I really asked myself how seriously do I want out of this relationship…and the honest truth it that as much as it scares me to be alone, I often feel very much alone in my marriage…

I pretty much run the household  and he doesn’t really acknowledge it…I mean he does say thank you when I mention I have done it but for example yesterday when we were eating a supper that I prepared he remarked about how I never cook for him…I actually laughed in my head as I cook supper for his every night unless we are eating left overs or getting takeaway which I have to arrange and pay for. I am still flabbergasted about he said I never cook for him and only do when I am sweetining him up. Even when I am pissed off with him I make sure there is food in the kitchen for him and me…

So let’s say I don’t win the  or … 

Well…I am not sure how much money it is but my father did say a few years ago he invested money abroad for me… should it be a good lump sum of money I could get tht dream house or something close to that…  I mean of course I would earn rent from the flat that I own and currently live in with him…but I need to fix up this place before I rent it out…

 fix some cracks and chips off walls and repaint the walls.

relay the wooden floors (as some of it has expaneded and popped up)

   . A few years ago I replaced the Steel Window Frames to Double Glazed Windows.

I would need to replace the cupboards in the bedrooms…  and get a new bathroom vanity  and door for geyser… as it is just fitted open so can see it and since it is so large and nothing can be built around it, I would need to get a smaller one or possibly have it moved. Oh gosh and let’s not forget about the kitchen cupboards which are incomplete and just the lay out doesn’t make sense….and after all that is said and done who wouldn’t love a   Okay so my flat is tiny and wouldn’t need somethind that Hi-Tech, but being able to check the apartment security game would be great…and considering the amount of spontaneous  being able to switch the geyser off in time remotely would be great… I would like the Hi-Tech Smart Home App for my dream and future house…

But I suppose I could just start doing all this on my own…

Do a lil every few months and maybe eventually get it all done.

But before I start investing with all that, I think I should work on clearning all my debts first…

  Okay I am up to date with that…but they will be increasing at the end of the month along with  Oh and I owe a  for fixing a water leak a few months ago…I should realy schedule that payment asap. Doing a rough calculation in my head…I could do with about  and I think the weight on my shoulders would be a heallava lot lighter…but I mean why aim for just enough….

  …but just on me