Thinking About “You”

She suggested that perhaps I start watching another show, which also happens to be on Netflix.  I haven’t finished watching Bridgerton yet, though already I’m being asked to jump into another series.  I don’t watch television with any kind of regularity, but I’m open to it.  She knows this and decided that maybe she would entice me with a short clip.  Said clip is listed below:

https://youtu.be/E7rdPVFUxWk?si=_c1vDpwvQy3gIBxM

I figured that if she went through the effort of finding and sending me this clip, the least I could do is watch it. 

I watched it three times.  Maybe I was somewhat intrigued?    

She initially told me that when she had watched the show, she couldn’t help but think of me and how I seemed to be unusually similar to the main character, who I understand is a man named Joe Goldberg.  She made it a point to clarify that she doesn’t see me as being the serial killer type (thankfully, being that that might be a fairly difficult label to shake), as much as she sees me as engaging in the same kinds of behaviors that Goldberg does. 

As she sees me, she believes that I think and overthink situations and scenarios.  I’m constantly analyzing my surroundings, processing everything that I’m seeing and hearing.  I use my words in a similarly eloquent way.  As it pertains to that scene, she also believes that I can be flirtatious, without even realizing that I’m acting that way.  I guess Goldberg does a lot of those things. 

I gave her all the credit in the world, because she’s right.  90% or so, she’s right. 

What bothers me is that she knows me that well.  I know that I can fool most people with my words and my antics.  I don’t like letting people in on how I’m feeling or what I’m all about at any given moment.  But when it comes to her, she can see right through me, most of the time anyway.  Again, I’ll give credit where it’s due.    

I am apparently very retarded when it comes to my ability to recognize when women are flirting with me.  I’ve told her this and she agrees with me completely.  Apparently, I can’t just accept that a woman is being nice to me.  To her, this is flirting and I’m completely oblivious to it when it’s happening.  She’s not wrong.          

I don’t necessarily think as much as Goldberg does, as much as I question things that other people do. 

As an example, I’ll revert to the part during that clip above where Goldberg offers to get the book that Beck wants.  In turning him down, she tells him that she can get the book herself and as she’s reaching for this book, Goldberg notes that she is not wearing a bra and thinks to himself in a confident tone that she wanted him to notice this about her.

If that’s me in that exact scenario, I might notice that she’s not wearing a bra (and I’m likely enjoying it), though in my head, I’m asking why she would have done such a thing.  Did she truly wish for me to notice that about her manner of dress?  I thought that women seldom leave the house without a bra.  What was she hoping to accomplish by not wearing a bra?  Clearly, she doesn’t think I’m gay, right?

The point is, I question things all the time.  Goldberg is instead quite assertive, as he reads his environment and the people in it. 

There’s still a lot of thought going on there. 

He asserts.  I question.

Well, suffice it to say that she drew me in with that clip. 

Looks like there’s another Netflix series I’ll be checking out.