Graduation 25

Here we are again

My 2nd son is graduating.

The awkwardness of having to see the ex and her husband hanging with my sister and brother in law, while I sit off to the side alone.

Stranger in my own hometown.

I’m here for him, but the hurt of these years linger. I’ve tried to be an influence for him, knowing that she tore me so apart, I haven’t been.

I still wonder what I did to her that she was so nasty about leaving me.

In my mind I’m constantly defending her as if she has a shred of love for me when she obviously wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been so very lonely these several years. No friends, no family other then the kids, who you have to put on the “brave” face

What did she say to defend herself in the divorce to where people I’ve known for years refuse to even greet me?

Or am I the asshole?